“BUY THE BOOK”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(May 22, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. When the New York governor, Andrew Cuomo, put healthy people in with the corona-infected, we ALL had the same thought: that you don’t mix the healthy with the sick. Today we’re back in the digs of Professor Zorkophsky to help him hawk his latest book, ‘The New Stupid.’ Welcome to the show, Professor Zorkophsky, and what have you got to show us today?”
“Business before pleasure, Roving, if you please. And please call me ‘Zork’ while in my relaxing office. We’ll get to my latest invention later, but — oh, look here — it’s right in front of us on my desk. Look through the little window, here on the side, and tell me what you see.”
“It looks like a mouse. Why are there bars on the windows?”
“Because this little box is, in reality, a portable Mouse Jail and jails, as I’m sure you know, require bars on the windows.”
“But why do you have a mouse in a mouse jail?”
“You know, Roving, sometimes I wonder about you. I think you make a bestseller: the story of your life. Do you realize that a normal person would question the validity of a ‘mouse jail’ in the first place? But not you, and that is rather concerning to me. Anyway, getting back on topic, this is not just any mouse; no, this is a trained mouse that, when it detects a lie, climbs on top of the lying person’s head and sings ‘Crying’ (3:40) in the style of Don Mclean, but instead singing the word ‘crying’ the mouse substitutes the word ‘lying.’”
“This is so preposterous on so many levels I don’t know where to begin. To start, you say you have a ‘trained mouse,’ and it’s not even a white mouse. Looks more like a rat. I think it is a rat in a cat travel box. I know that rats are smart, but does it really sing? And does it have a name?”
“Roving, you are too much for words. She says her name is Nancy Pelosi. What do you say you take a commercial break?”
“Guess Who” (2:52)
“And we are back with Zork. So, Zork, another Muslim ‘migrant’ attempts to murder Americans at a Naval Air Station. It sure seems like we heard all of this before, haven’t we?”
“One would think that after 9-11 some of us would get on board, but I guess it’ll take a Muslim rolling a grenade in a tent to make people pay attention.”
“No, that’s been done before.”
“Then how about some psycho psychiatrist shooting a bunch of soldiers at an Army base?”
“No again.”
“Then how about killings at a recruitment center?”
“Old news.”
“What about trying to blow up a skyscraper?”
“No, been done and it’s all over now.”
“What about running over people on a bike trail?”
“Ancient history.”
“I got one: how about randomly shooting people from the back of a car?”
“Old news.”
“Well, I give up. Wait: what about the Joint Chiefs of Staff not allowing Muslims on any of our bases?”
“What about it?”
“And THAT’S the idea of the book; I mean, really now, how stupid do you have to be not to have figured out at least that much? Buy the book.”
“I’m sure our readers will flock to the store, Zork, and buy the book. And that’ll do it for us, and so, on behalf of the crew, this is your Roving Reporter (RR) wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Boléro” (6:56)
And what about Muslim schoolchildren singing songs about cutting the heads off of infidels in preparation for a school play in….I honestly don’t know how many cities…but even on Facebook?
And Facebook didn’t take the video(s) down, take down the account, or any other thing. Of course, they didn’t. Because the school apologized for the FACT that the video was put up.