Rook Dunkin Interview via Skype (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2020

BeyondJ, Pixabay, License

(Mar. 31, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to go when you’ve no place to go. Hello, my name is Roving Reporter (RR) and for you first-time viewers, glad you found us; for those of you who don’t get us on cable, welcome to The P&E where Molly, our excellent secretary, prepared the transcript of the show that you’re reading.

“This is new, the sign of the times: broadcasting from my most humble abode. Did I ever tell you the story that I was about to propose to Molly years ago when she made it clear ‘once a spinster, always a spinster’? True. Too bad; a case of no winners because we both lost out; at least that’s what I’m thinking while she may be thanking her lucky stars every day, for all I know. With us today is Rook Dunkin, broadcasting from his home — not too far from mine, since his church on Hawthorn Street is closed, as is the rectory. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ Rook Dunkin.”

“Glad to be with you in these trying times, Roving. I pray that you are doing well and not suffering from cabin fever; just yesterday I was talking to Professor Zorkophsky about that very subject for this Sunday’s sermon.”

“Oh, really? How interesting; what a coincidence.”

“Isn’t it, though? Well, as I was asking Zork, what could we do to keep from going bats, or as Zork says, ‘nuts’?”


“Oh, sorry. He said to read a good book.”

“So to keep this conversation interesting, tell us about your life and what was your calling to the cloth, as it were?”

“I used to teach Industrial Arts at the junior-high level, which is another way of teaching the kids how to use power equipment without cutting their fingers off. Then one day it just came to me that I can teach all the age groups the same thing, but in a different way.”

“How’s that?”

“To not cut each other off by teaching the Golden Rule, and I’ve been a better person ever since.”

“That’s pretty interesting. Any highlights you’d care to share with us?”

“Well, yes, in a sad way: just the other day – actually it was last week’s sermon – the first song we sang was ‘I Love Rock ‘n Roll’ (2:55) co-written by Alan Merrill, who just died of the coronavirus. So I’m praying that Alan saw that his song was sung during our church service and that he was happy because of it. I pray that he read it in The Post & Email or someone at least told him about it before he passed.”

“You seem to pray a lot.”

“It’s my business, Roving.”


“You see, Roving, unlike you, I don’t go through life pretending to care.”

“You’re saying I don’t? Oh, okay; you’re right and I promise to do better.”

“I remember, when you were off on the other side of the world, fighting a war, you told God that, and I quote, ‘If you get me out of this mess I’ll do better.’ Don’t you think it’s about time for all of us to do better, that this is the time to stand up for America and support her whenever and however we can? It’s time to kick all the unwanteds out. From south of the border and from the Middle East — wherever vaccinations are nonexistent — all kinds of diseases make our public schools nothing more than incubators for some pretty bad stuff. And now I must get back to work; thank you for having me on. Bye.”

“And thank you for being on ‘Pulse,’ Rook. And it’s that time to say goodnight, so on behalf of myself I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight. I’m making myself a burger: it’ll be my treat.”

Unchained Melody” (3:40)


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