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by OPOVV, ©2020


(Mar. 24, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the presentation of the ‘Jerk of the Decade Award’ that’s brought to you by ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the ever-popular information show. Hello, my name is Roving Reporter (RR) and I will be your Master of Ceremonies broadcasting from our university’s auditorium.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, the ‘Jerk’ award for this decade is scheduled for January 2031, but due to the colossal nature of the Democrats’ recent vote, en masse, NAY, on the Coronavirus Stimulus Bill, the single mother waitress must forgo any assistance from her government to help her pay the rent and feed the kids.

“This reporter has covered everything under the sun and has seen some pretty bad stuff, but what happened yesterday was so outrageously mean and nasty that the Board of Directors voted unanimously to present the ’Jerk’ award while the transgression is still fresh in our hearts and minds.

“It is therefore, without further ado, my task to present the ‘Jerk of the Decade’ award to Nancy Pelosi (0:53), a person who has continuously disappointed us since the day she was sworn in from California. These proceedings are now closed. Thank you all for attending and so, on behalf of the Board of Directors and the ‘Pulse’ crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“A real shame; a black eye in the face of adversity; thanks a lot, Nancy. Burger time: my treat.”

California Girls” (4:31)


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