Keep It on the Level (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2020

Photo: Ana_J, Pixabay, License

(Jan. 21, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘the Pulse of the Nation,’ where if you hear it here you don’t need to hear it anywhere else. I’m Roving, the host of this show, and we’re broadcasting from the train station because it’s too darn cold to be standing outside bothering commuters, so we’ll just bother them inside. And will you look at that, a man wearing a strange hat. Excuse me, please; excuse me; getting by. Excuse me, sir, Roving for ‘Pulse,’ the ever-popular information show. Mind if I ask you about your hat?”

“This thing? Oh, okay. See, a baseball cap with some bracing and this two-foot level here is duct-taped on.”

“Yes, I can see that, but why? Why have a level sitting on top of your hat?”

“Because I’m a member in good standing of the ‘Keep it on the Level’ society, a group dedicated in making the next elections honest, above board, ‘on the level.’ Understand?”

“Good idea, but how are you going to do that?”

“Well, it wasn’t my idea; I don’t know whose idea it was, actually. Anyway, during the next election, every registered Democrat has to show proof that they reduced the value of their 401Ks to equal what it was in October of 2015 and that the money that it increased since then be donated to a charity that has been approved by the Trump Administration, and not, for instance, to the Clinton Foundation.”

“That makes sense. So, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m a State Representative from the district west of here and I’m off to meet with my colleagues to see if we can at least get voter ID made a requirement to vote.”

“Good luck with that. And off he goes, and we wish him luck. Let’s take a break.”

Gentle on my Mind” (2:57)

“And we’re back with Julie, who wants to say something about this impeachment trial.”

“Thank you, Roving, for giving me the opportunity to have the voice of ‘We the People.’ The senators can call anybody they want to call as ‘witnesses,’ understand? They can call Obama and ask to see his BIRTH CERTIFICATE; I would put Pelosi on the stand and ask her about her taxes and where all her money came from, and her pushing Obama’s fake BIRTH CERTIFICATE; then have Adam Schiff on the stand and ask him about the whole chain of collaboration with Eric Ciaramella; then I would put Hillary, Brennan, Lois Lerner, Eric Holder, Loretta Lynch and ALL the other players who are on the bandwagon of impeachment on the stand and grill them until next Tuesday. And that’s all I wanted to say, except thank you for letting the voice of the people be heard.”

“Glad to help, Julie. Let’s break for a commercial and have one more.”

I’d Love to Change the World” (3:43)

“Excuse me, please, but would you like to be on TV? Roving for ‘Pulse,’ an informative news show.”

“Oh, really? You know that Trump got blamed for the corruption in Puerto Rico after that devastating hurricane? That mayor of San Juan really has some nerve; would you report that?”

“We report everything, even if it’s wrong.”

“Then how about reporting that if a person, for instance, a member of Congress, supports impeachment then it follows—makes sense — that person is a member of the Deep State. And here’s my train, so I’ve got to run. But I want to say one more thing: if the Australians would punish those who set those forest fires the day they catch them, maybe that would be a deterrent; do it publicly, if you get what I mean. And now I must run. Bye.”

“We understand. And off he goes to catch his train. And that’ll bring us to the end when I say, on behalf of the crew, goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

Star of the County Down” (2:44)


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