“I’M PROUD OF IT”
by OPOVV, ©2019
(Jan. 3, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a special edition of ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ your surefire source of sure news. Hello, I’m your Roving Reporter broadcasting from the front entrance of Camp Pendleton, where we’re meeting with the head of parades and celebrations. So you are?”
“Major General Nichols.”
“A Major General in charge of parades? Seems like overkill.”
“Not at all, Roving. Morale is a very important aspect and we Marines take our motivation seriously here at Marine Boot Camp. Our Commander-in-Chief, President Trump, has set the tone that the United States military is for real and our bullets are for one thing only: kill the enemy.”
“So what’s happening today?”
“We are celebrating that our military is back on track and if anybody anywhere disrespects the United States they better watch their backs. So we’re scheduling parades at every military base, not only here at home, but around the world, today and every day as long as we have Trump at the helm of the Ship of State as our esteemed and well-respected Commander-in-Chief.”
“Every day?”
“It’s a manner of speaking. I mean we’re ready and willing to parade and play the National Anthem (3:05), 24-7, and if we see anyone kneel, well, let me say that they may wish they had shown some respect to our troops.”
“You mentioned that recruitment just went through the roof.”
“Yes, isn’t it great? We used to lose SEALS because they just sat around and trained, but with Trump they’ve been going after the bad guys and taking names.”
“By ‘taking names’ you mean killing them?”
“It’s a fact of life that accidents happen every day; things blow up; vehicles have gas-tank explosions and brake failures so they fall off cliffs 500 feet tall. Every day. But do those individual incidents make the news? No, nor should they. We pride ourselves in being low-key; under-the-table.”
“So one could have said that the recent drone attack could’ve been attributed to a faulty fuel pump?”
“You got it.”
“So you’re having a parade?”
“Yes, and we’ll videotape it and send it to our Commander-in-Chief, who we’re really proud of, by the way.”
“Well, thank you, General, for taking the time to talk with us.”
“Not at all, Roving, and thank you for supporting our president. I understand you voted for him in the primary election, isn’t that correct?”
“It sure is, General, and I’m proud of it.”
“As you should be.”
“So this saber-rattling from the Iranians?”
“Bring it on.”
“Well-said, and with that we’ll be signing off and so, on behalf of the crew and the General, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Excellent show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Southern Nights” (3:00)
Comments
One response to “Happy New Year, U.S. Military! (RR)”
I loved the smell of JP-4 exhaust from the F-4C aircraft early in the morning on the Air Force Base flight line.