Recipe for Swamp (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2019

(Apr. 5, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ your most enjoyable break from the hustle and bustle, turmoil and Left-Wing Loonies that get you mad enough to make your blood boil. Hello, my name is Roving, as in Roving Reporter (RR), and we’re back down in sunny Florida, at Madam Shylock’s Fortune-Telling Emporium, right in the center of Cassadaga, right across the street from the pond where, well, we’re not here to talk about Henry, are we?”

“As soon as I see the cash I’ll tell you.”

“Oh, look who snuck up on us:  it’s Madam Shylock herself. Cash, is it? How ‘bout a check? How about a new, crisp $20? Multiply that by 10, in hundreds? Here we are, two new and crisp Ben Franklins. You’re welcome, I’m sure of it.”

“So if you’re not here about Henry, what are you here for?”

“I understand that witches concoct stuff all the time – stirring the pot – and make up spells.”

“And? Out with it: as they say, ‘time is money.’”

“Okay, here it is: what’s the recipe for Swamp?”

“Here, let me refund your money; I thought maybe your question would be difficult, many layers, long history, but no; you surprised me with your simple and sophomoric question. In the Nancy Drew textbook ‘How to be a Sleuth,’ in Chapter One it states: Rules Number 1-10,000: FOLLOW THE MONEY.”

“What’s rule number 10,001?”

“Oh, you’re a funny guy, but I’ll answer your question: FOLLOW EVEN MORE MONEY. Look, I’ll make it easy for you: China wants American Greenbacks, so they sell stuff to us, but we have tariffs, which cuts into the profits. How to get around tariffs? Pay someone in power to eliminate tariffs: pay someone to vote for most-favored-nation treatment: ergo: no tariffs. See, everyone makes money, everyone except the American consumers and workers.”

“Any more?”

“Unless you want to hear about how the Obama Administration worked overtime to set up Trump supporters; how the FBI is crooked as far as you can see; how Edward Snowden warned us, and with, wait, I see Henry hopping across the road for a snack.”

“Can we talk to Henry?

“Roving, Henry is a frog, for heaven’s sake.”


“You want to know the truth? The whole truth and nothing but? Prove that Obama was nothing but a fake; that he was a Muslim plant to make America weak and Iran strong; to bring in millions of Muslims so they can introduce Sharia Law and trash our Constitution to make the USA, Europe, Africa, Central and South America Third-World Islamic Garbage Dumps. Expose Obama, and the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. Start with one question.”

“And what question would that be?”


“And with that, on behalf of the crew, wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Let’s ask Henry to join us for burgers: my treat.”

At the Hop” (2:33)


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