It’s in the Water! (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2018

Sen. Joseph McCarthy

(Oct. 10, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ your trusted source for nothing but the facts. Hello, my name is Roving and we have Madam Shylock with us via Skype. Good morning, Madam Shylock; how you doin’? But before you answer let’s get this commercial out of the way.”

Chain of Broken Hearts” (2:34)

“We’re all doing very well down here in the Sunshine State but we’re in a fierce competition with the State of Louisiana for the ‘The Mosquito State’ moniker. And before you ask, you have to be one of the lower 48 to be in contention: sorry, Alaska.”

“That’s right: what we call a sparrow they call mosquito, size-wise. Have you had a chance to come up with an answer to the question: ‘Being Unhinged is NOT Your Fault?’”

 “Yes, I got in touch with Professor Zorkophsky to make sure that the word ‘unhinged’ is an accepted medical psychiatric term and he assured me that it is.”

“So, what’s the answer?”

“I consulted with my crystal ball and…”

“Excuse me, but exactly what does ‘consulting with a crystal ball’ mean?”

“Gazing. I gazed into my crystal ball and found the answer to why some of us have become ‘fact-resistant.’”


“And there’s more than one specific cause, but they all have the same effect: setting back any and all the gains that women have made in the last 100 years and flushed them. This Christine Ford saboteur showed that denouncing someone without any proof is now an accepted verdict of guilt.”

“Sounds like the McCarthy Hearings about finding Communists in Hollywood.”

“Or denouncing a comrade in Stalin’s USSR and Hitler’s Germany where a denunciation would destroy a person’s life, literally. Look, it was all a show at the expense of the Kavanaugh family. That there was no party or beer or Kavanaugh’s attempted rape is a given. The whole show was nothing other than a last-ditch effort to legislate by the bench rather than by the legislative process.”

“Getting back to the question: you mentioned ‘fact-resistant.’ Hold on! Wait a sec; we’ve got to throw in a commercial.”

I Can’t Give You Anything but Love” (2:39)

“Yes, I did, and water is the key, or I should say what’s in the water is the key. I could do a detailed survey, citing Script’s Institute of Oceanography, of La Jolla, CA, but I’ll make it short and just say an ameba called the ‘Stupido-Maximum-Cranium-Defecto’ somehow got in the water supply and targeted certain susceptible nerve cells of the ‘Unhinged Persuasion.’”

“You mean loonies like Jim Carey and Maxine Waters?”

“And all the others who couldn’t figure out that Brett Kavanaugh was one heck of a darn good choice to be on the Supreme Court. I mean, really, now, you can’t possibly do any better than to have a judge who would rule as the Constitution is written. Really, how fair can it get? Unless, maybe you don’t want equal under the law, but who wouldn’t want that?”

“So the whole sordid show was, what?”

“It was exactly the ground floor, the foundation, of Socialism exposed, where unfounded accusations are treated as the gospel truth, although a belief in anything other than the State is either discouraged or outlawed. It could’ve been any idiot who testified; it just happened to be that Ford character. I mean, just think about it for half a second: she had nothing, not even a name, until the Left went bonkers over Trump’s nominee: Brett Kavanaugh. And when the Left went bonkers, so did Christine Ford and all the other idiots who stoked the fires of the destruction of Trump’s choice. They were desperate to save the Deep State at any cost, and the heck with the consequences.”

“So we witnessed the destruction of the Democratic Party?”

“No, what you saw was panic during a firefight; panic inside a burning building; panic fighting over the last life-preserver. Heck, they would’ve put anyone in the hot seat, and they did, even one of their own. Ford has been a registered Democrat all of her life and voted for Hillary. She’s one of them, and if she weren’t available they would’ve thrust anyone else of their own forward. Maybe Barbara Boxer imagined that Brett Kavanaugh made sexual advances towards her ten or so years ago (recovered memory?) in one of the office buildings or bars or restaurants in or around Washington, DC.”

“So they had nothing yet made something out of nothing?”

“No, oh, sure, they had nothing and they still have nothing because there was nothing, but they bought time and, most important, mainstream media coverage of nothing: week after week of nothing. Meaningless drivel at the expense of an honorable man, his wife and his two daughters.”

“And it’s getting worse, isn’t it?”

“Apparently the ameba gets around. Listen: if ever there was an argument for the poll tax, this Alexandria Cortez is it. Matter of fact, what if there really was a poll tax*? Then there wouldn’t be any Democratic Party, now, would there?”

“And Hillary would in jail. By the way, these warnings of new diseases in our cities and schools can be attributed to our open-border and welcome-arms immigration policies. The wall, I believe, is a step in the right direction, although the really deadliest stuff comes from Africa and the Middle East. Well, I see that our time is up. Thank you for talking with us, Madam Shylock, and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing all of you goodnight: Goodnight.”

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*poll tax: proof of the successful completion of an American Government and Civics class with emphasis on the Constitution and the Electoral College.]

Have I the Right” (3:10)





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