Calling Intrepid Explorer Professor Wert (RR)

“SOMEBODY, ANYBODY…”

by OPOVV, ©2018

Image credit: ElenaR at Shutterstocklicensed

(Sep. 29, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to yet another exciting and far-reaching episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the popular TV news journal that’s guaranteed to be as entertaining as it is informative. Hello, my name is Roving, as in Roving Reporter (RR), and, as you can see, we’re down at the docks to welcome Professor Wert back from his far-fetched journey in finding somebody, anybody, who believes in the tall-tale as told by Christine Blasey Ford. And speaking of Wert, here he comes down the gangplank. Welcome home, Professor Wert.”

“Thank you, Roving and crew, and it’s good to be back. The first thing I want is a tall glass of ice-cold milk, if you don’t mind. How have you been?”

“We’ve been really busy with the Kavanaugh nomination, as you can imagine. It’s been like 24-7. Look, don’t keep us in suspense: did you find someone who actually believes in the Democratic saboteur Ford?”

“Yes and no.”

“Now what in the heck is that supposed to mean?”

“It simply means that I found one person who said he believes in the remote possibility — no, excuse me, I misspoke. This person said that he could say he believes in Ford’s fake news if we would put in their bank account what was put in Ford’s.”

“And you said what?”

“I said we’re a public service TV show and didn’t have the big bucks, like George Soros-backed anti-American-pro-Socialist TV stations.”

“But we’re not a public service station: we’re here for the money: why do you think we have all those irritating commercials?”

“Look, I know that but that stupid person who lives in San Francisco doesn’t. Why, she never even heard of Roving Reporter.”

“She said that? Never-ever even heard of me?”

“That’s what she said, and I have it on tape: care to see it?”

“No, not a chance. And that was the closest in finding a believer in the Ford story?”

“It’s a great story, though. Think about it: something never happened with no proof of it ever having happened; you follow?”

“Not even close, but then again, maybe. So it’s all made-up. Do you think she made it up all by herself?”

“Didn’t you see her? Not a chance; no way. On brain-power, I’d rate her equal to a used weed-eater, the one that’s been leaning in the back corner of the garage for the last seven years; cobweb-covered grease and the two-cycle fuel turned to paraffin.”

“But she has degrees.”

“Let me clue you in. First, going to school beats working at least a million to one, okay? If you can find the money to go to school rather than go to work, you’re ahead of the game of life. There’s no downside in acquiring degrees unless it’s debt, but then it’s not your money to begin with, right? Want to hear more?”

‘Go on.”

“Schools want students, and the longer the student stays, the more they pay, and that’s good for the school, right?”

“Right.”

“Schools that didn’t have advanced degrees were missing out on the extra money, so they started to offer more advanced degrees. And the schools that are really successful have a direct fiduciary relationship (banks: student loan officers) with the customers (students) who agree to pay on credit. Look: it’s the philosophy of owning the company store. Maybe you want a master’s degree but you need a little extra spending money, so magically there’s an assistant teacher’s job open that just happens to have the exact hours you need; you with me? The business of the school is to make money, and don’t forget it.”

“So a degree is, what?”

“Somebody got the money not to work for a number of years, is basically the game. Now, don’t get me wrong: if you studied philosophy for eight years you would be more knowledgeable in philosophy than someone who didn’t study philosophy for eight years, right? It doesn’t mean they’re any smarter than anyone else: it just means that they figured out a way to get the money to study whatever interested them; are you following me?”

“Yes, I am. So what you’re saying is that this Dr. Christine Blasey Ford is, really, now, not the sharpest knife in the drawer.”

“I’m saying she’s more than a can short in a six-pack.”

“How many would you estimate?”

“The truth?”

“Of course.”

“Three.”

“You’re kidding. So you never really found anyone who believes her story? Not even some of those idiots in the hearing room?”

“Look, the whole con was to delay the vote for Kavanaugh until after the midterms, that’s all.”

“So Kavanaugh was nothing more than a guinea pig?”

“More like the sacrificial lamb.”

“But what about his kids?”

“What the heck do they care? They don’t care about you or me, or the inner city kids who go to school for 12 years and still can’t read or write.”

“Well, welcome back anyway. And now it’s that time to wish you all, on behalf of the crew, a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Not even a hint of a one? But the fake news and The View are believers, aren’t they? Join us for burgers: my treat.”

Liar” (3:41)

OPOVV

 

One Response to "Calling Intrepid Explorer Professor Wert (RR)"

  1. Chief New Leaf   Saturday, September 29, 2018 at 2:18 PM

    Excellent editorial.
    This Ford character has a long history of being a Leftist Activist to the 9th degree, as had her family, long BT (Before Trump).
    One can conclude with a high degree of certainty that the ONLY reason the whole charade unfolded the way it did was because the actors followed the script to the letter, which makes one wonder at the incompetence of the Republicans, starting with Flake.
    This is the kind of entertainment we DON’T need, or want, and we ALL can do without.
    Why?
    Well, I don’t know about you, but it just makes me sick what they did and continue to do to Judge Kavanaugh and his family. And that’s another thing: going after the judge is one thing but going after his two little girls is
    WAY TOO FAR OVER THE LINE.
    It’s too bad I wasn’t at that restaurant that Ted Cruz and his wife were at the other night because I would’ve, well, you get the idea if I said the word “warpath”.
    My reservation voter turnout during the upcoming midterms will be 100% Republican (TRUMP!) with 100% participation, so to all of you “Democratic Strategists” out there, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
    Chief New Leaf

    Reply

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