Roving Back on the Job (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2018

(Jan. 24, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ever-popular info-news show: ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ We’re back on our corner; well, actually around the corner – out of the wind—where we’ll waylay some unsuspecting people and ask them what their main bug is. Ah, here comes one now. Excuse me, sir, care to be interviewed on live TV?”

“What’s my prize? What am I supposed to do, guess a number? My lucky number is five. I’m retired; well, I’m between jobs: any ideas?”

“Ideas about what?”

“What am I supposed to do? I have some ideas; care to hear them?”

“Give us one.”

“I was thinking of going into the kidnapping business:  you know, hold people for ransom, but I’m not from south of the border so maybe I’ll do something else.”

“Just curious, but why would you even consider such a harebrained scheme?”

“I think it’ll be the new thing, the new entrepreneurial opportunity.”

“But it’s against the law.”

“It’s against the law everywhere, but it’s still recognized as a viable money-generating business; just look at Mexico and South America. We better get used to it, because that’s what’s been coming into our country: it’s part of the life they left behind and it’ll be part of our lives to come. But we can’t be surprised; after all, it’s been the writing on the wall for quite a few years. Here’s my train; got to run. Bye.”

“Excuse us while we break for a commercial.”

It’s In His Kiss” (2:17)

“We’re back and here’s a young lady. Hello, and what are you up to?”

“My name is Clare and I’m a Greenie.”

“Congratulations. So, tell us, what do you do as a Greenie? By the way, who pays you?”

“I’m a volunteer so I don’t get a paycheck, but as to what I do, I try and make some sense of it all. For instance, Greenies want clean water so I devise plans for clean water.”

“Plans? What plans?”

“Do you know how many cars and trucks there are driving around on the surface of our planet?”

“No, but I bet it’s a lot.”

“You’re right: it is a lot, and each one of those machines uses oil that gets dirty, just as the oil filters get dirty, so what happens to this dirty oil and dirty oil filters? I’ll tell you: 99% of the oil gets dumped into the ground and the dirty oil filters go to some garbage dump—that the politically-correct call ‘landfills’ — that slowly leak oil into the ground.”

“Ninety-nine percent? That sounds a little bit high.”

“Actually, it’s more than 99%. So what happens? All this oil percolates down into the ground water; aquifers; creeks; streams; rivers, eventually ending up in our oceans.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Since money talks, require deposits for oil and filters and enforce long prison terms for violators. Look, the key to life is fresh water; always has been and here’s my train. Bye.”

“Just in time for a commercial.”

I Lost My Baby” (2:32)

“And we’re back; just in time to read a letter.

Dear Roving,

You seem to be a law-abiding citizen. What are your views on ‘Dreamers’ and DACA?’



Dear Cleo,

Thank you for taking the time to write. I say deport them. I know some will cry but I’m sorry, even if there are good apples in the basket, in this case, we must throw the good out with the bad.

Talk to any angel mom to learn about the cost of illegal immigration, plus there are many THOUSANDS of young women who have been beaten, molested, sold into human trafficking, and murdered, with some being murdered for an initiation rite for gang membership, here in America, maybe even in a city near you.

And let’s not bloviate about it: let’s get it done and over with; forthwith; like now, before another one of our kids are molested, beaten or murdered.


Roving Reporter (RR)

“I guess that leaves time for one more interview. Did I mention that we’re across the street from the railroad station? And look what the cat dragged in? It’s none other than Chief New Leaf. How you doin’, Chief?”

“How indeed? Very fine, I thank you, I’m sure. You know what? I tell you what. You all the same; no, I don’t mean all at same time: I mean all in years.

“Listen: when we American Indian tribes signed your bogus treaties, we saw your forked tongues wangle speaking lies but we had to sign or you exterminate us: Wounded Knee taught us the ultimate lesson: capitulate or die.

“So many of us assimilated and speak your language and worship the Great Father in your many churches. You don’t treat Mother Earth very well at all. You still clear-cut and allow strip-mining all throughout your land. You pollute your water which is the last straw, but that’s not why I came by today.

“I say you all hypocrites. We treat our women with respect. We the ones that called our planet Mother Earth. It has always been so. And you continue to treat your women with total disdain. Oh, you talk up a good Christian line; Mother Mary and all of that.

“But…you lie. You import Muslims who treat women as bad as the macho cultures that you allow to swarm across your Southern border. You say one thing and don’t back it up. You say you’re for women but you don’t act on it by deporting the very people who lord over women as chattel, slaves, property, to beat and murder at but a whim.

“You say ‘too bad’ yet you talk about DACA as a meaningful phrase; as if DACA was worth consideration; as if it’s an intellectual exercise in rational consideration, which it is not. Anything but and I just told you so. Stop being hypocrites. You say you treat your women with respect; how about proving it rather than talk it to death? I have spoken.”

“Great speech, Chief. And that’s all the time we have for tonight and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Hey, Chief, join us for burgers: my treat.”

Time of the Season” (3:34)


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