by OPOVV, ©2018
(Jan. 10, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to The Pulse of the Nation,’ the one place you can be assured of the truth; at least the close proximity thereof; and maybe not quite there but, heck, we’re not afraid of making amends; admitting our mistakes; and not too big to say we’re really very sorry and we’ll try our darndest not to repeat our offenses, transgressions and ’not-paying-attentions.’ In a way that’s an apology for not being on the air last night, although since the conversation was in the office it (somehow) made its way to the transcription desk and there you have it: the whole story. Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be your host for this evening’s info-news show.
“Bear with me while I give a quick call to the Professor in Washington. Hello, Zork? Roving here for ‘Pulse.’ Look, I need a little help. What was the book* about private companies acting like a government? Really? Okay, thanks.
“Now we’re ready to waylay an unsuspecting passerby and ask what’s on his or her mind. Excuse me, sir? Roving for ‘Pulse’; care to be interviewed on live TV? Oh, great. What’s your name and what do you do for a living?”
“Name is Roy and I work for the post office. We watch your show and think it’s a little bit off the cuff, but, as you say, it is entertaining. We like the fortuneteller and that explorer. What’s the question of the day?”
“Is it legal for a private company to supplant Federal Law?”
“Oh, I know where you’re going with this; you’re going to make a comment about Socialism and the NAZI Party, aren’t you? I knew it! If you weren’t a member of a certain political group, there would be no pay raise, and maybe they would even call the GESTAPO, that is to say, after they fired you. And it’s alive and well today as it was in 1930’s Germany, sad to say.”
“Sad to say when you see history repeat itself. Here we have the best president we could possibly have at this critical juncture in our nation’s history and giant corporations are trying to get rid of him by any means. Counterproductive, is what it is. If they want a safer country: support Trump. If they want everyone to make money and have a better life: support Trump. But no, they are blinded by people they don’t know who are telling them what to believe.”
“It’s like this: there is no correlation between having money and having smarts; between having a high IQ and the ability to make a lot of money; and between being smart and having a big bank roll. The fact that a person has a lot of money stems from that person’s ability to have a lot of money; just because a person has a bunch of businesses that make a lot of money doesn’t mean that person can make a lot of money in any business; and, lastly, just because a person can have other people work for them does not mean that the employer is any smarter than any of his or her employees. Got it?”
“Got it: rich does not equal smart.”
“Good for you. There was this movie where a banker was in World War II who came out a different person than when he went in; the war changed him; changed his values and his perception of people. He was rich when he went into the war but richer when he got out because he acquired, besides the brains he had for making money when he went in the Army, some of what people have admired for untold generations, according to the Bible, something worth more than money and smarts: wisdom.”
“So you’re saying that President Trump has wisdom?”
“Give the guy some credit, will you? Think back for just a minute and imagine what our country, our whole world, would look like had Hillary been elected. I rest my case.”
“So you work for the post office?”
“I wouldn’t call it work since my job is inside the main post office. I do the money orders which leave me about six hours a day to read. Oh, will you look at the time? See you around.”
“Let’s take a quick break.”
“Slow Blues in the Mississippi Delta” (3:34)
“Okay, who is next? Hello, and you are?”
“My name is Gail and my dog’s name is ‘Jake.’ You weren’t on last night so they ran a rerun titled ‘Amnesty and Open Border Commercial‘ which was pretty good since I missed it the first time it was aired. What’s today’s question?”
“The question is: is it legal for a private company to supplant Federal Law?”
“If you live in a Fascist State it’s the way, the only way, to conduct business. If you want a government contract or, for that matter, any contract, it’s the way to survive; either play by the rules or go broke; either cave or starve. Just look at today’s Venezuela for proof.”
“So what’s your view on the nitwit pundits that lurk at the news desks of our newsrooms?”
“I’m sorry, I’d like to answer you in a mature and intelligent way, but there’s only a handful of knowledgeable pundits on the whole planet Earth at one time. Actually, a trustworthy and knowledgeable pundit is about as rare as drawing to an inside Royal Flush. Look, I don’t wish to appear ungrateful but I’ve got to get to work at the mall. See you; say hello to the pig who drives a convertible with a broken taillight if you see him.”
“Okay, what’s next? A commercial? Excuse us, please.”
“True Love Ways” (2:58)
“Okay, we’ve time for one more interview; what about you, sir? Care to be on ‘Pulse?’”
“Only if it’s quick. I’m the last in line for a lot of our Veterans who are on their last legs. I’m a Nut Consultant for those suffering from PTSD. Here’s how it works: separation; suffer; suicide: the 3-S’s. I try and counsel them how to avoid any of the S’s.”
“Can you be a bit more specific, like maybe elaborate a bit?”
“Okay: ‘Separation’ is when a spouse commits adultery and divorces the Veteran; Suffer is what the Veteran feels; Suicide is the solution to a failed marriage. You see, combat Veterans suffer in a very unique way, different than others who has PTSD from a car accident, for instance.
“It’s true that some who experience combat become catatonic, but those are the exceptions. I’m talking about close-in combat, even to the point of having to use a knife to save yourself. Not quite the same as pushing a button to drop a bomb; spray a village with an M-60 machine gun; or throwing a grenade through a window. I deal with the cases that are on the edge of recovery.”
“So how does that work? You have some percentage of saving clients?”
“Fifty-fifty is the best we can do, sad to say; but without us it very well could be a 100% loss so we like to think we’re halfway ahead of the bullet that the Veteran eats. I’m sorry, but I can’t afford to be late for any of my appointments. Bye.”
“Goodbye, and I’m sure our Veterans appreciate your help. And that’ll do it for tonight’s show and so, on behalf of the crew, allow me to wish each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show, you think? I say it’s burger time: my treat.”
“Porch Swing Slidin’” (3:29)
Sharon Rondeau has operated The Post & Email since April 2010, focusing on the Obama birth certificate investigation and other government corruption news. She has reported prolifically on constitutional violations within Tennessee’s prison and judicial systems.