“OVER TO THE DARK SIDE”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Nov. 20, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the one show that you, our staunch and loyal viewers, have come to rely on for the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. My name is Roving and I’ll be your host for tonight’s show.
“Ever since the day that Obama became the presidential candidate for the Democratic Party in 2008, I have been traveling around the country giving speeches, sleeping in my truck and buying tires. It has been a rough road to travel, from riches to bankruptcy and back to riches. I went from a regular citizen to a bona fide and vetted presidential candidate in 2012. By the grace of having a righteous soul, the amethyst mine that I discovered with Mr. Weltie when I was ten (and forgot about) was thrust back into my life by none other than our very own government, which was looking for a fool to pay the back taxes on the mine* to the tune of a few hundred million. True story. I’m sorry, but we have to break for a commercial.”
“You Didn’t Have To Be So Nice” (2:29)
“And here we thought that one of our editorial writers, Ron Ewart, had problems. And if an ex-wife is reading this: stand in line: the government gets paid first. Now that I got that off my chest, we’ve been invited to the university’s auditorium to see Professor Zorkophsky’s latest play titled ‘The Last Straw,’ the true story of a kidnapped Navy sailor while he was on R&R in Hong Kong in 1965 by the Chinese.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Roving, but what about the Russians?”
“Okay, I’ll tell you. It’s not so much as they backed the wrong horse – Hillary –it’s that they had anything to do with her in the first place. It’s been my experience that if you deal with Swamp Rats, it’s a very real danger in getting sucked in the muck. It’s not that the Russians are squeaky-clean; it’s that the Clinton Foundation is so corrupt that it would make Comrade Stalin proud. One could say that Hillary tainted the Russians, and shame on the Russians for going along with her on the shady Uranium One deal and all the other deals in money laundering, off-shore bank accounts and all the other sneaky banking practices that makes the hidden Slush Fund accounts look like a little kid’s Piggy Bank. Let’s break for a commercial.”
“True Love Ways” (3:08)
“You seem bitter.”
“If calling for Jeff Sessions to resign in total disgrace for not doing the job that he was hired to do is bitterness, then yes. If seeing Loretta Lynch collect her full pension makes me bitter, right again. If seeing Hillary and all the other seedy characters walking free when, if you and I tried to get away with the same shenanigans that they have, we’d be in jail, then yes, I am bitter about the FBI and the DOJ going over to the Dark Side and staying there. Why the president doesn’t call the Marines to raid the offices of the FBI and Justice and make them do the Perp Walk to the paddy wagon is beyond me.
“Oh, and one last thing: so where’s the presidential pardon for LTC Terry Lakin? What about that? What’s Trump waiting for, Lakin to die of old age? Excuse me, please, I see the curtain is about to go up, so let’s listen in.”
“So this play is a true story?”
“Yes, it is. I was in Hong Kong just after it happened. I was an NCO and had a patch on my uniform proclaiming that I was an expert on everything associated with the missiles that the ship carried, which was pretty hard to disguise since there was a very large missile-launcher where the rear 6”-3 barrel turret used to be. So I was ordered to remove my missile patch and replace it with a Fire Control insignia, which made me one of many and therefore removed as a target from a Chinese kidnapping. Excuse us for a commercial break.”
“It Was Almost Like A Song” (3:38)
“So what happened to the aforementioned missile expert, the one that they took to China?”
“Just gone. Here one day and never heard from again. Never heard from anyone. Never even made the papers, which gave me a lot of insight on how scared we were of the Chinese; that is, I think, until Trump.”
“You have great hopes for Trump, don’t you?”
“The whole world hopes with me. Either he prevails or the Swamp/Sharia destroys our Republic and ends the Beacon of Freedom for the World; it’s that serious.”
“It’s that serious and people ought to take it as serious as it is. For proof just look at Sweden, England and Germany, the places where greed, ignorance and stupidity created the Perfect Storm that allowed an invading enemy to swarm across their borders with impunity. The operative word is ‘DEPORT,’ which isn’t in play nearly as much as it should be anywhere in the civilized world.
“The equation is as simple and clear-cut as it can possibly be: the more illegal immigrants** and Muslims in a given area, the more violent life is. And we’ve missed the play; maybe we’ll come back here for our next show but for now let me wish all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show, although I would’ve liked to have seen the play. Let’s grab a burger: my treat.”
[*mine: the amethyst mine was discovered to have the most beautiful crystal-clear quartz, except for one flaw: specs of gold which led to the discovery of a small gold vein.]
[**illegal immigrants: include DACA.]
“Not Too Long Ago” (2:20)