“WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Oct. 27, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, Roving is off to Las Vegas on his well-deserved vacation and I’ll be your host while he’s gone. No, there’s nothing wrong with your television set and this isn’t ventriloquism: I’m the real Talking Dog. So, what do you say? Let’s just dig in and see what we may learn. Excuse me, sir, ‘Pulse’ here to interview you.”
“But you’re a dog.”
“So? How about telling the viewers what you do for a living and what you’re up to today.”
“Very well. My name is Mike and I’m the owner of a greeting-card company.”
“That’s interesting; what’s your latest cards say?”
“Our latest Hillary card reads, ‘Jail is for the Little People.’ Another shows a picture of Hillary dressed as ‘Sergeant Shultz of ‘Hogan’s Heroes’ that reads, ‘I know nothing!’ This week we’re pushing our newest sound card: it’s a picture of the Benghazi Embassy Annex after the attack* and when you open the card Hillary says, ‘What difference does it make?’ And this is my train. Nice to have talked with you; never talked to a dog before; well, I have talked to dogs before but you’re the first to answer in English. Bye.”
“Goodbye, and thank you for taking the time to tell our viewers what you do for a living. I’m sorry, but we’ve got to take a break to sell something.”
“How Much Is That Doggie In The Window” (2:07)
“Now who will be next? Are you next? What’s wrong, cat got your tongue?”
“Yes, I think I’m next.”
“Well, if you weren’t you are now. Care to tell our viewers what you do all day?”
“Not at all. Long-time viewer, by the way. I just came by to thank you guys for making me a ton of money.”
“No lie?”
“No lie. In the summer of 2016 your program stated that, and I quote, ‘If Trump is elected the stock market will skyrocket*’. I bet the farm on him: I got a second mortgage on the house and I sold my beloved Porsche for less than Blue Book value. Now listen: the day after the election I went to my broker and bought a bunch of stuff that was going down, way down. Yesterday I sold everything except for 25% and my net profit was 31%. I bought my car back for what I paid for it, which was fair since it had another 2,000 miles on it. Today I’m heading for the bank to pay off my mortgages, the first and second, all thanks to president Trump, and if you’re out there watching President Trump, I thank you, my wife thanks you and my dog thanks you. And this one is my train. Bye.”
“Wait a minute: what do you do for a living?”
“I’m an airline pilot. Never talked to a dog before. Hey, all of Hillary’s lying, cheating and pushing the fake news that the Russians wanted Trump as the president of the United States is such a stupid statement as to be beyond incredulous. Why, the last person they would want would be Trump. Gosh, how dumb are the viewers of ‘The View,’ ‘Morning Joe’, and ‘The Rachel Maddow Show’? Bye.”
“And off he goes. Time for another commercial.”
“Underdog Theme Song” (1:11)
“And we’re back. Thanks for sticking around. Pardon me? Another commercial? Stand by.”
Theme song from Dastardly and Muttley: “Stop The Pigeon” (1:13)
“Okay, now we’re back. With me is Sue who works in advertising. What you got for us, Sue?”
“The story is that the ‘Uranium One’ deal was for ‘peaceful purposes.’ Remember when Iran was touting that line? Well, the Russians asked the Iranians if they could also use it, and the Iranians said, ‘Why not? The dumb Americans bought into it.’ Bottom line: the USA giving any Yellowcake or any other form of uranium for any so-called ‘peaceful purposes’ is a very bad idea, for sure.
“This is a very serious situation. The basic mechanics of the physical properties of The Bomb are well understood, not like it was during World War II. Back then, there were two big pushes going on simultaneously: assembling a workable and reliable Device (‘Manhattan Project’) and to build a reliable Delivery System (B-29). It was the age before the ICBM.
“Today the name of the game is miniaturization: smaller is better, and nothing but nothing would benefit more than the assembly of nuclear devices. Think for a moment of thousands of jihadists with truly portable nuclear bombs that could fit in a briefcase and weigh less than 100 pounds. Therefore it is way beyond necessary to deny crazy people access to weapons of mass destruction, not to mention anthrax and other deadly ‘Biological Warfare’ germs.
“And here comes my train, so I’ll make my last point quickly: we’re in a war: it’s World War III: Islam vs. The World, and the enemy will stop at absolutely nothing; there is no line that they will not cross; it is truly a fight to the death. If I had more time I’d state the obvious, but there’s my ride. Bye.”
“Goodbye, and with that, on behalf of the crew, let me wish each and every one of you viewers a goodnight: Goodnight.
“How’d I do? Burger time: my Master’s treat.”
[*Benghazi attack: 9-11-2012]
[**’If Trump is elected the stock market will skyrocket’: this is a true statement: it was posted before the presidential election of 2016.]
“Like A Rolling Stone” (6:11)