Pulse of the Nation: The Last Truth (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2017

The Arab American National Museum in Dearborn, MI Photo by rmhermen

(Oct. 24, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the one show on the idiot box that tells the truth. As you can see, we’re back on our corner about to interview our neighbors to learn what’s bugging them these days. Excuse me, sir, Roving for ‘Pulse.’ Care to be interviewed on television?”

“For sure, after all, been watching your show from the get-go. I like that Madam Shylock and the Chief. Oh, by the way, couple of years ago there was this presidential candidate who said he’d deport each and every Muslim and then send our military up to Canada and do the same thing for them.”

“That’s right, and then he said after the USA and Canada were cleaned of the trash, he’d send the military over to the British Isles and do the same there and, after they were saved, do another D-Day invasion of the Continent and cleanse Sweden and the rest of Europe of the Islam invasion.”

“That’s right. Whatever happened to him, by the way?”

“He’s still around and I’m not sure of this, but I think he’s the owner of the Talking Dog.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not; okay, enough of this. Excuse us while we take a commercial break.”

Wouldn’t It Be Nice” (2:32)

“We’re back. Here’s your question: what do you do?”

“I hand out bumper stickers. Look, I got a few with me. Here, look.”

“What the…? It reads, ‘No Tax Cuts for the Rich.’ What do you care if the rich get a tax cut or not?”

“Well, I don’t, but I have to ask this question before I’m allowed to hand out the bumper sticker: ‘Do you pay any taxes?’ If they answer ‘No,’ then they get the sticker.”

“Who in the heck pays you?”

“Now that’s the strange part. Every day a different person hands me a receipt that says such-and-such an amount has been deposited in my checking account. And I’m sorry, but I’ve got to run. Did you hear about the people who were beaten-up by Muslims in Philadelphia? Attacks like that are normal wherever Muslims gather, I’m afraid. Violence and death are a way of life for them; that’s just the way it is, and no amount of posturing is going to change them one iota. Got to run.”

“And off he goes to hawk his wares, for free, somewhere in the city, probably near some college campus, don’t you think? Pat Robertson’s college doesn’t graduate dummies, so why can’t our universities do the same? Is it because they hire Loony Left-Wing Professors? And here comes a young lady. Hello, care to be on ‘Pulse?’”

“Why, of course; been watching you for years.”

“Wait, let me help you: you like the fortuneteller and the Talking Dog.”

“Why, yes. How’d you know that? And before you ask, I’m a marriage counselor.”

“That’s nice; how’s business?”

“One thing that’s nice about my profession is that it’s independent of the economy. I work as much as I want, which is as much as I can take. Some of these marriages are truly beautiful, but then one of them wants to cheat and then it’s all over; kaput; zonked-over-and-out. I don’t care what other marriage counselors may say; once a person cheats, they cross the line between being truthful and living a lie.

“Years ago I had a Navy man who had PTSD who came in by himself. I asked him where the wife was and he said that the wife didn’t want any marriage counseling, so he came alone. He said he thought his wife was cheating on him and I told him, ‘Once trust is lost, so is the marriage.’ I told him to pack it up and get as far away as possible, that he was too good for her.

“Years later, from out of the blue, I got a post card from him that read, ‘I want to thank you for your help. When I first met her I was proud to introduce her to my parents, but then I saw her a couple of years after we divorced and there would be no way I’d take a girl like that to meet my parents. She went from a ‘nice girl’ to a ‘bad girl,’ and I don’t mean good.’ Actually, I get a lot of Thank You cards from former clients, and the ratio is 10:1, men over women.”

“Any clients ever fun? I mean, have you ever sat around and laughed or is it all dreary and dismal?”

“Once a wife said it was okay for a divorce since she still had her boyfriend.”

“That’s pretty good. Any more?”

“One time a wife got a divorce and never learned of the husband’s Trust Fund. Another time a wife filed for a divorce and the husband’s grandparents died. Well, a couple of years later he learned that his grandparents had a safe deposit box that was willed to him and in it was a bunch of gold, silver and cash. See this necklace? 24 Karats. It was a gift for outstanding work.

“But it’s not all happy endings, not by a long shot. And I’ll tell you what really kills the whole process: lawyers. Introduce a lawyer into a divorce and that’s when the acrimony really hits the fan. And that’s my train. Nice to have talked with you; Bye.”

“Bye. Excuse us while we break for a commercial.”

Just Ask Your Heart” (2:31)

“We’re back; time for one more? Okay, last one. Excuse me, care to be on ‘Pulse?’”’

“Never heard of it. Who are you, anyway?”

“My name is Roving, as in ‘Roving Reporter,’ the host of the show.”

“What kind of show is it?”

“We just ask our neighbors questions about their concerns of the day; what they’re up to; human-interest stuff.”

“Sounds boring.”

“Let’s see. For instance, what are you up to today?”

“Me? Why, nothing; I’m retired.”

“Okay, then, what are you retired from?”

“I was the Wayne County DA.”

“That’s where Dearborn is located, isn’t it?”

“That’s right; good for you. I think I got out just in time because it was really getting to be out of control.”

“In what way ‘out of control?’”

“When I left, the backlog of FGM cases was years, I kid you not. Very hard to prosecute when you’re dealing with people who believe in barbarism, and the rest of the world – including the State of Michigan – does not. These people (Muslims) just don’t think like us: they don’t see anything wrong with FGM. Matter of fact, they encourage FGM, and they’re not hypocrites: they demand FGM for their wives, sisters, daughter and all females, Muslim or not.

“It has been reported that I received multiple death threats but, as I’m sure you can appreciate, I’m not at liberty to discuss this matter. That’s not to say that I didn’t receive any death threats – I did – but I just can’t comment about them, except to say that now that I’m a private citizen and not saddled with the restraints that were upon me as an ‘Officer of the Court,’ I’m at liberty to take the matter to the coward’s (plural) doorstep.”

“Does that mean you, yourself, are going after those who threatened you?”

“I’m not at liberty to say either way, but I shall assist the Michigan Commission on Law Enforcement Standards to the best of my ability. So you’ll air this?”

“We film in the morning, edit in the afternoon, and it’s on the idiot box in the evening. Meanwhile, as soon as the film is edited, a transcript is made which is then sent to a political blog on the Internet: The Post & Email News.‘ And even though we’re having such a good time, I’m afraid, Molly, our sound-boom operator extraordinaire, is signaling me to wrap it up and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing our faithful viewers a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Hey, Mister DA, join us for burgers: my treat.”

Time Won’t Let Me” (3:00)




One Response to "Pulse of the Nation: The Last Truth (RR)"

  1. Robert C. Laity   Wednesday, October 25, 2017 at 8:15 AM

    Liberty can be preserved. It must be preserved. That is why I founded Society for the Preservation of our American Republic more then (30) years ago. That’s our mission.
    Preserving America, it’s principles and it’s freedoms.

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