by OPOVV, ©2017


(Sep. 18, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the information show that’s more popular at every airing: ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, my name is Roving Reporting and I’ll be your host for this evening’s entertainment. We’re going to try a new format, one we hope you’ll enjoy. We’ve set up a three-way live feed from here over to Professor Zorkophsky in Washington, DC and down to Madam Shylock in Cassadaga, Florida. Hello, Professor…Sorry, hello. Zork and, what was it, ‘Gypsy Woman?’”


“Hello, Roving.”

“Ladies first: Gypsy Woman, the world can see, first-hand, that a socialist country is imploding – Venezuela – right before our eyes, yet we have thousands, perhaps millions, of idiots in our own country who voted for Obama, Hillary and Bernie Sanders who, somehow, believe in the fallacy of from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs;’ in other words, socialism. So my question is, if we’re such an enlightened and advanced country, how can so many be so wrong?”

“Because we’re neither advanced nor enlightened. Today’s high school students score lower on the same test as students 100 years ago. Today’s recent graduates of our high schools fail to name the three branches of government and believe that a ‘student loan’ automatically morphs into a gift from who knows who or from where, or, for that matter, even why. Today’s first two years of college are yesterday’s four years of high school.”

“That bad? Is she right, Zork? But first, a commercial break. This song is dedicated to all those combat Veterans out there suffering from PTSD.” “When the Hurt is Over” 8:04

“She hit the nail on the head, and for proof just look at the sad state our military is in. Look, I’m no politician so I don’t have to beg for votes, but if we don’t bring the Draft back, our military will be made up of just one socio-economic mindset group of people. And before I start getting any hate mail, hear me out. The whole idea of America’s armed forces was to be made up of the citizen soldier, the true melting pot of our Republic. And that’s what it was, groups of men going through basic training, from a Princeton man doing the 96-count M1 drill exercise next to a kid from Southside Chicago next to an Indian off the reservation from Arizona.”

“Not the same, is it?”

“Not even close.”

“Any thoughts on our military, Gypsy Woman?”

“I see Navy ships colliding with tugs and piers. I see submarines hitting things under the water and, when they surface, hitting things above the water, like what happened off Hawaii a couple of years ago. I see a great fighting force reduced to painting their ships a bright pink, or maybe a hue of fuchsia to make sure the enemy knows that there’s women on board and to act like gentlemen.”

“Yes, I do believe she’s right. My solution is that, if any American female wishes to be in a combat unit, a new treaty with Israel needs to be worked out where they’ll take our girls and put them in the IDF. Problem solved and everyone is happy.”

“That’s a purely brilliant idea. I  guess that’s why you’re such a best-selling author and a renowned college professor.”

“Oh, I like that idea. Under Obama the Navy was thinking about women on subs.”

“Figures. Okay, Zork, let me ask you about illegal immigration.”


“I know what you’re going to ask; you’re going to ask about DACA.  The answer is “No.” The only reason why we even have them is because our government didn’t follow the laws on the books in the first place; what are you going to do, compound the error? No, just do it: deport them and, if they want to return, they can get in line like everybody else.”

“Gypsy Woman?”

“Oh, I agree, wholeheartedly, 100%. Matter-of-fact, it’s one of the reasons I voted for Trump: Law and Order, so let’s have some.”

“I see that our time is up and I’d like to thank our guests, Zork and Gypsy Woman, for making our first three-way telecast such a success. And now, on behalf of the crew, I wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“I think that came off rather well. Burger time: my treat.”

It Ain’t Me” 2:21



Join the Conversation

1 Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. When it comes to education, the author is focusing on the wrong things here. Put in it’s simplest terms people who think they are socialists in education are: 1) Substituting an education of the intellect with a supposed education of the heart; aka, social justice warriors. “Social-Emotional Learning” is the key phrase many are latching on to. Common Core really ends up being subsumed under that, 2) Further degradation of what we think of as learning is the shift from teaching facts to teaching how to find facts. Critical thinking skills, et. al. supposedly contribute to this approach to learning, 3) The worst of the “innovations” is the attempt to create “blended learning” by combining fields like social studies and english into one grand thematic journey of learning.

    Philosophically, blended learning is not a bad idea. But like anything else you can screw it up, which is exactly what they are doing. — Yes, to the author’s original point, it is socialist ideology that motivates these ideas. But we should appreciate the ways in which they are much further along in destroying true learning.