by OPOVV, ©2017

(Jun. 14, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of our continuing foray into the human psyche. Hello, I’m Roving Reporter and will be your host for this evening’s show. We’ve been invited to witness the first performance of Professor Zorkophsky’s new play, ‘The Bonkers Syndrome.’ And look what the cat dragged in; it’s none other than the Professor himself. How you doing, Zork?”

“I am doing fine, or I was, until I realized I forgot to give the players the first scene of Act I. You see, you had your intro wrong: this isn’t a ‘performance’; it’s our first read-through. I just invited you all here to get your reaction, is what.”

“That’s okay; no problem. I’m sure our viewers will be entertained one way or the other. Let me ask you this: Is the word ‘bonkers’ an accepted psychiatric term, and what does the word actually mean?”

“Oh, yes, ‘bonkers’ is indeed accepted and has been ever since it was first used to describe a patient that was one of the ‘Truly Deranged.’ Wait, wait; hold on, I’m going to tell you what ‘Truly Deranged’ is. You have no patience, which is a telltale sign of a person who had a totally frustrating experience in life, such as what they used to call ‘shell shock, until they realized that people could be affected the same way without being shot at.

“A good example of ‘shell-shocked’ could be found at any animal shelter. I, myself, adopted a dog from a shelter that was abused when young, and even after having her for years she still cringes whenever I reach down to pet her. It’s all so very sad.”

“You were talking about the definition of the ‘Truly Deranged.’

“Oh, yes, sorry. I tend to get carried away at times. Why, just the other day, while I was writing the dialog for this play, I was thinking of Trumpet Shock’ and debating to use that but I decided against it.”

“Okay, what, pray tell, is ‘Trumpet Shock?’”

“It’s when a near-and-dear female isn’t honest with her male counterpart.”

“In English, please.”

“It’s when the wife cheats; commits adultery; lies about the ‘I do’ part.”

“But you decided not to use it, right?”

“I wanted to, but couldn’t fit it in.”

“Back to ‘Totally Deranged.’”

“In today’s terms, it is someone who has a ‘Short Circuit Between the Ears.’”

“Hold it right there, Professor. Are you trying to tell us that ‘Short Circuit Between the Ears’ is another one of those accepted phrases that professional psychiatrists use in their everyday practices?”

“But of course; I am, after all, a well-published author (which automatically affords me a certain degree of leeway which some people refer to as facts).”

“So, what are you saying, you make it up as you go along?”

“But of course. Look at the Democrats of today, okay? They don’t have a leg to stand on so they make it up as they go along. They say Socialism is good when we all know Socialism is not good. Look at World War II Germany and today’s Venezuela if you need any proof. But that’s okay, as far as the Democrats are concerned. You see, facts aren’t the issue: the issue is feelings. They say Socialism feels good, you see? Go ahead: say it: ‘Socialism feels good.’ There. Guess what? That’s how easy it is these days. Socialism is good; Trump is bad. Say it: ‘Socialism is good; Trump is bad.’ And they believe it, amazing as it seems.”

“But why?”

“No ‘why.’ There are no questions, understand? All that’s left are slogans. ‘No Trump!’ means don’t question the alternative (that is never expressed, mind you). No ‘Clean the Swamp!’ as if they want the Swamp.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense.”

“And THAT’S the gist, the soul of the play: people are not looking at facts; people are not looking at the alternative; and people aren’t looking at the repercussions. They, the Democrats, aren’t looking ahead because, if they were, there would be no future.”

“No future?”

“You’re in a time machine that takes you back to Berlin 1938, and this guy says he’ll sell you some high-rise buildings downtown for a song. Same with Caracas five years ago but, now get this, you go back in time but you take the knowledge that you have now with you: obviously you don’t buy anything, not even for a penny. Now try and pass the ‘Bad Trump; Say Yes! To Socialism’ as fact, as the future: see? It doesn’t work, and the reason it doesn’t fly is because human beings are able to extrapolate facts from the past to what will happen in the future. It’s that easy.”

“Well, if it’s so darn easy, why are there idiots in the park giving plays of Trump’s execution and all the anti-Trump hate speech?”

“Listen to me: there are a number of our fellow citizens who are truly and sincerely bonkers.”


“You got to see the play. Stick around, you just might learn something; but I’ll leave you with a hint: carry. Everyone must carry. And that’s it.”

“That’s it?”

“Think about it: you know someone who subscribes to the anti-Trump hype; maybe they cried when Hillary lost, and they go bonkers. You can stop them because our pro-Obama police force sure isn’t protecting us. You got people saying to kill the president and they’re not immediately arrested and placed in a padded cell. You got people saying stuff like that; well, why don’t we trade them to ISIS for any hostages they may have?”

“Great idea. Can’t wait to see the play. Well, folks, that’s all the time we have for this episode of the ‘Pulse.’ At this time, on behalf of the crew, I’d like to wish each and every one of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Can’t wait to see the play. Burger time: my treat.”

[As an aside: I’m writing this as the news of the baseball-diamond shootings are made known, on the morning of June 14. Ever since Trump won the election some people have acted like the spoiled brats that they are, but it’s one thing to be a good loser without becoming a vindictive and hateful opponent, even after the game is over and the lights have been turned O-F-F. Everyone has gone home except the “Totally Deranged,” who have made and continue to make threats to anyone associated with Trump, even including advocating for the destruction of public property, i.e., the White House. That these people haven’t been arrested and, at a minimum, charged with a HATE THREAT, perhaps even being upgraded to a HATE CRIME, only gives impetuous behavior to further and more drastic actions to those afflicted with “The Bonkers Syndrome,” which is nothing to laugh at because it’s a very real and present danger to each and every one of us, a crime unto itself.]

She’s Come Undone



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