by OPOVV, ©2017

(Jan. 29, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that’s a sure hit at the water cooler. Hello, I’m Mr. Roving and will be your host for this evening’s show. We received an email that a breakthrough medical discovery occurred this morning at the Department of Anthropology at the university.

“Let me introduce you to Professor Kathleen Taft, the discoverer of…by the way, what exactly did you discover?”

“Nothing other than the real reason of the decline and fall of the Roman Empire. We used to blame it on lead pipes and a perpetual Mardi Gras, but it’s even more sinister than anyone could have speculated.”

“Well, don’t keep us in suspense. What was the cause?”

“Believe it or not, the Obot Syndrome. Wait, let me explain; I couldn’t come up with a better name so I went for the obvious. What I mean is that it was either temporary insanity or just plain your everyday insanity. So the Roman Empire was destroyed from within. Remind you of anything?”

“Actually it does: it’s what happening right here at home.”

“Yes. Look, we’ve been working on this for years. What we did was ‘borrow’ the Cray Super-Computer at Los Alamos for a week. We put all of human history, in every language, in the mix and asked the question: ‘Oh, Infallible One, tell us the cause of the demise of the Roman Empire,’ and out popped: ‘The steadfast belief, on the point of total denial of the truth, the continuation of accepting a lie, any lie, but never, at point of death, of accepting the truth, as expressed by the current support of Obama, Hillary and the refusal to accept that the American people have OVERWHELMINGLY rejected the New World Order, the European Union, and the unrestricted invasion of Muslims worldwide.’ Proof of the pudding.”

“Convincing, I have to say. Very convincing. Now could you please elaborate a little for our viewers?”

“Be glad to. You see, politics is a cerebral exercise; it’s a trip into the imagination. What makes politics real is when people take a political idea and follow it through until it becomes a physical reality. It’s not politics that causes destruction and mayhem; it’s buying into a failing idea, such as Socialism or Islam, which is yet another failed political system.

“You see, people believe in fairy tales, which is why the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny have been such big hits throughout mankind’s history. People tend to accept what sounds good over what may not be so good: ‘free’ may sound good over the personal satisfaction of a job well-done. Let me put it another way: education is the key, but education without reason is wasted. Why be educated if you can’t get a job and use the education?

“We teach kids how to read but we don’t teach them what to read, nor do we teach them the art of comprehension, the ability to question whatever they may be reading, even if it’s the Bible. Questioning is not to find fault; questioning is to find truth. Show me one instance where Socialism ever brought equality to the people who bought the pig-in-a poke, and I’ll grant you a regret-free life.

“And yes, there’s always been the easily-led and corrupted; why, just look at the swamp that our own capital, Washington, DC, has become: nothing but a corrupt den of thieves who’ll push whatever agenda that will keep them in power. The current flavor is anti-Trump; next month it could be ‘love the refugees,’ and the month after that it’ll be ‘Muslims will assimilate and embrace the Constitution: no Sharia and no ‘honor killings.’  The point is that there’s always been a Pied Piper,* just as there seems to be an endless supply of ignorant followers.

“Today we call such people ’Democrats’; yesterday they were called good card-carrying members of the ‘Khmer Rouge,’ and the day before that they were called ‘Nazis’, and so on and so on, as far as we can remember: there were always a bunch who just follow along, like pilot fish who grab the crumbs the big sharks leave behind.”

“So, what are you saying, that the pilot fish, the followers, the Hillary supporters and the ‘Never Trumspters’ are to blame for Rome falling and, by extrapolation, ultimately bringing down the USA?”

“That’s it, from the Federal Judges who ruled that United States citizens had NO STANDING* on whether their president was Constitutionally qualified to hold the office, or allowing so-called ‘refugees’ into our country, to the protest marchers who marched and destroyed their own town to the cry of ‘Hands up, don’t shoot,’ and to all the stupid people throughout history, we’ll never reach the stars unless we get on the same page, and, from the way it looks, with the never-ending shortage of gullible bottom-feeders, we never will.”

“So that’s what we’re supposed to take away from your findings? That civilizations have been destroyed, from within, by stupid people who were so far out to lunch that they didn’t even realize what they were doing? Destroying their own crib; nest; home; country? That’s the reason for the title: the real Funny Bone isn’t so funny after all, is it?


“Oh, okay. Our time is up, I’m afraid. Actually we ran over by a little and so, on behalf of the crew, thank you for watching and I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“I guess we’ll have to add a new chapter in ‘The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,’ won’t we? Destruction by idiots and, in the case of our American idiots, foreign powers controlling what Americans think: after all, aren’t most of our news organizations owned by a large percentage of Arabs? Hey: time for burgers: my treat.”

[*The Pied Piper was a very, very bad person.]

[**Terry Lakin embarrass the president.]

“The Killing Fields – Etude”



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