by OPOVV, ©2016
“Hello, Zork, and welcome to ‘Pulse.’ I understand you’ve a new book out. I must say, you sure write a lot. Care to tell us about it? What’s its name? Something about nowhere, I believe.”
“Yes, you believe correctly. As they say: ‘Publish or perish,’ the curse of our profession. The title is ‘Denial Will Get You Nowhere.’ The original title was ‘Knowhere,’ but my spell-check would overheat, smoke and the screen would go blank. We have to accept reality, you know.”
“Yes, we do. Now, if you will, what’s this ‘denial’ bit?”
“I’m sorry to report to you and your viewers that you’ve not a clue about terrorists.”
“I take it you’re talking about Muslim terrorists?”
“No, actually I’m talking about Dumbo terrorists. No, that’s wrong: I‘m talking about Christian terrorists; you know, the ones that preach the Golden Rule and force you to accept free food when you’re hungry; care for a Twinkie?
“Of course I’m talking about Muslim terrorists. Now listen. Thus far America has been on the fringe: we’ve only lost about 6,000 due to terrorism during the last 20 years but we’ll lose another 6,000 in the next five years and it’ll accelerated until we start losing 6,000 and more a month.”
“Why, that’s nuts. You can’t be serious.”
“It’s all in my book. See, on page 27 it says: ‘Muslims are immigrating to the USA because we’re easy pickin’s.’ They don’t come here to assimilate, understand? They don’t like Nancy Sinatra’s song, ‘These Boots are Made for Walking.’ Heck, they destroy musical instruments.
“No schools for women. No, nothin’ for women. True story: Muslim woman terrorist wanted to give a hostage some water. She had a bomb around her waist. Male terrorist pushed button and she blew up, okay? True story. Eyewitness accounts.
“Americans have no idea about Islam, none whatsoever, and that’s what my book’s about. Terrorists’ depravity knows no bounds; trust me, none whatsoever. We cannot allow Muslims in our country. You ask how crazy we are, I tell you: we’re so crazy to allow one Muslim in, let alone millions.
“We’ve an Army, for Pete’s sake, so why don’t we use it? We’re over in the Middle East doing nothing: at least bomb them all to smithereens, but no, we have Rules of Engagement that get our troops maimed and killed. ‘Win hearts and minds’; ‘Bring Democracy to them’: insane objectives.
“You can’t buy respect, and these people will never respect us, not like they respect Israel, until we stand tall by deporting each and every Muslim from within our borders, which you’ll find on page 147: ‘Muslims are here to out-birth us and then to vote for Sharia Law and then our goose is cooked.’ So what are we waiting for? Our goose to be cooked? I hope not.
“I say keep our goose raw; NOT cooked! No cooked geese, alright?”
“Yes, yes; of course. Raw geese for America.”
“I not make hilarious joke! Your sound-boom girl and cameraman have smiles! No smiles. You think it’s some kind of joke, eh? How’s this for fun and games: a survivor of the Beslan school massacre draws picture of terrorists with colored pencils and then she strikes a match to her drawing and watches as the terrorist burns. And then she calmly says to the camera that she’ll do that every day for the rest of her life. And she’s only ten years old, for gosh sakes.
“By the way, my book is getting rave reviews, I’ll have you know. Story after fact-filled story: the truth about Islam, for once. These groups such as CAIR are nothing but Muslim spy and overthrow-America organizations. They wouldn’t even be in this country if it weren’t for Eric Holder, Obama’s first Muslim-loving Attorney General. All of these Muslim organizations will be the death of our country, and that’s all in Chapter 21, by the way. Do yourself a favor: buy the book.”
“That’s great, Professor. And I see that our time is up for this episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ This is your Roving Reporter, on behalf of my crew, saying thank you for watching and wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Great show, guys. What do you say we grab a burger and you’re invited, Professor: my treat.”