“WHO WOULD YOU CALL TO SAVE YOU?”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Aug. 2, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that doesn’t hold anything back. Hello, I’m Chief New Leaf and will be your host for tonight’s episode. As you can see, we’re back under the awning across from the railroad station about to waylay regular folk to see what’s on their minds.
“Excuse me, please, care to be interviewed on TV?”
“Oh, I know who you are. You’re that Indian chief who is some kind of militia mischief-maker, am I right?”
“I wouldn’t know about the ‘mischief’ part since every tribe has its own police force.”
“Okay, have it your way. My daughter is dating a Indian — an American Indian, I think Sioux — and he takes her to the shooting range for a date, do you believe that? And for her birthday he got her a .22 rifle with a scope and said that when she can light a match at 50 yards he’ll ask her to marry him.”
“Heck, if she can light a match at 30 yards I’d marry her, if I wasn’t already married, that is. Anyway, here’s today’s question: do you believe you’re the ‘King of your Castle?”
“Only when I mow the lawn.”
“How’s that again?”
“You see, when I’m sitting on the riding lawnmower I’m truly in charge. I’m the god of the lawn, I am. At first, I mean the first 15 years or so, I’d mow the lawn so it looked good, but now I mow the lawn so as to see if there are any snakes lying in wait for me, I mean, as a snake-prevention exercise, keeping the grass short, if you see what I mean.
“So I go out to mow the lawn and the dog lays down somewhere. I mow around the dog, see? The last time I mowed, I mean the time before yesterday, a bunch of wildflowers was growing where I usually mow so I mowed around them. I am truly a god, albeit of my lawn, but nevertheless, a god. And there’s my train. Bye.”
“Wait! What about the election? What’s most important to you?”
“My neck! Bye!”
“And off he goes. Now who is next? Ah, here comes a young lady walking her dog. Excuse me, please.”
“How, Chief. We come by this way about every morning, usually on the other side of the street, so we know who you are. Matter-of-fact, we watch you every night.
“We wrote you a poem, if you’d care to hear it.”
“Oh, sure. And when you say ‘we,’ you don’t mean, by any stretch of the imagination, your dog, I hope.”
“Of course the dog. Say hello to Fi Fi. Thank you. Now may we read the poem?
When you’re all alone in the voting booth
With nothing but your thoughts
Who do you answer to?
Especially when it’s YOUR neck that will be caught
In the dragnet that Islam will throw out.
If you make a mistake, it may be your last
So you better think twice about
That ballot that you’ll cast.”
“Not bad for a dog. Got any more tidbits of wisdom?”
“That stupid head of Germany, Merkel, will go down in flames. Deservedly so, I might add. Look, Fi Fi has to go. One last thought: you can’t disguise that you live in a garbage dump, which is what the Argentinians live in. Bye.”
“Well, if nothing else, you got to say that this show sure as heck isn’t boring. Do we get our fair share of nut cases or what? Uh-oh, here she comes back.”
“I heard that. So you think we’re a couple of nut cases, do you? You want to see nut cases, just look at any Muslim; just look at Islam, the political ideology that fears dogs.”
“Fears dogs?”
“And women.”
“Fears dogs and women?”
“All animals, and children.”
“Let’s see if I got this right: Islam fears dogs, women, animals and children. Anything else?”
“Oh, yes, there’s a lot more. Women getting educated; women driving a car or going to the store by themselves; women wearing whatever they want to wear whenever they want to wear whatever it is; women having a voice in, well, everything.”
“Everything?”
“Everything: where to live to how many babies to have. Everything; and if I’m sick of even thinking about it: just imagine how those poor women — who are caught in such a macho-dominated Totalitarian system that is Islam — feel? And now goodbye: Goodbye.”
“How time flies. We had only two people today but they said the same thing: keep you neck. Forget trade; walls; Supreme Court; 2nd Amendment: economic ‘recovery;’ there’s only one question the voters need to ask themselves: who would you rather watch your back, Hillary or Trump? If you were in danger; if your life was on the line – and make no mistake about it, it is – who would you call to save you? Just one question that deserves one simple answer: Hillary or Trump?
“And the sound-boom person is waving so I better say, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Another talking dog. Well, good show nevertheless. If the voters would equate their conscience with their necks, Trump will win in a landslide. What do you say we all go get a burger: my treat.”