by OPOVV, ©2016

(Jul. 8, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the show that lays it on the line. As you can see, we’re in the studio to interview a well-respected wise man of my tribe, Johnny Otter. Rather than a long and overblown introduction, let’s find out all about him by asking him some questions.

“How, Mr. Johnny Otter.”

“How to you, Chief New Leaf. Thank you for inviting me to be on your show, which is watched worldwide, I understand, ever since the ‘Pulse’ was picked up by cable TV.”

“Actually by satellite, but what’s the difference, Mr. Otter?”

“Call me Doc Ott, if you would, please.”

“Be a pleasure. I understand you’re a Shaman. What, exactly, is a Shaman, Doc Ott?”

“A healer; a philosopher; a storyteller. My father was a Shaman, as was his father before him. The knowledge of the healing powers of plants has been passed down for hundreds of years through countless generations; a mentor for life’s hurdles and changes: the Welcome Wagon for those who are coming in to Life and the Soother for those who are leaving; and the depository of the chronicles of the history of our tribe.  The more ‘yesterdays’ that are told, the more it is the same story for all of the Indian tribes, all the way back to stories of hunting the Woolly Mammoth.”

“Why did you wish to come on the ‘Pulse’ at this time?”

“Good question. Well, I don’t know if Mr. Roving Reporter would’ve had me on – he probably would –but I knew you would. But at this time? Let me tell you a story. It has always been hard for us Indians (and when I say ‘Indians,’ I mean ‘American Indians,’ okay?) to understand the very strange disease that affects the White Man: Greed.

“It seems that you people would sacrifice destroying the land for this thing you call ‘profit.’ The devastation caused by your strip-mining is nothing short of criminal. There are ways to harvest coal from Mother Earth without killing her while doing it.

“And the way you harvest trees, why, you clear-cut the mountains so when it rains all of the creeks silt-up to the point where the fish-spawning sites have been destroyed. You also clear-cut whenever you build something, not even harvesting the trees. Quite sad, you know, and you all do it, from Maine to California.

“You mine gold and other metals and destroy the land, rivers and lakes by polluting through the use of acids and other caustic chemicals that you either dump into the waterways or push up smokestacks.

“You ever hear of the ‘El Dorado?’ What about the ‘Seven Cities?’ How about ‘The Lost Dutchman’s Gold Mine?’ We Indians know the location of vast deposits of gold, but what good would it do us? All that would happen would be for the White Man to barge in, mine the gold, and leave our land in a useless and desolate condition: the water and land destroyed so even the mountain goat and roadrunner would starve.

“I mentioned the ‘Lost Dutchman’s’ Mine for a reason, for I spent my youth in those mountains. Many years later an expedition went in and looked for the mine, and they published the photos of where they were looking. I laughed until the tears came; this I can tell you, for they were off so much they weren’t even on the right side of the valley. They would never have found that mine if they looked for it for the next thousand years.

“Since then the government forbids anyone to go in and look for that mine, but before the government took control of that area of the Superstition Mountains, the Chiricahua Apache would kill any prospector who got too close to the mine. You see, we don’t need the money, but what we do need is for this rape and killing of the land to stop.

“You have this notion that ‘Global Warming’ is some kind of important issue; had you attacked pollution in its myriad of forms maybe people would agree. Maybe the pollution of the Third World countries by the ‘civilized’ countries of the world will stop: the United States is polluting Mexico with impunity. You give an inordinate amount of attention to this so-called ‘carbon footprint’ while completely ignoring your ‘human footprint.’

“What I’m saying is that the Indian tribes of the United States don’t agree with your idea of destroying the land, your ridiculous idea of Socialism or importing the sworn enemy of the United States: Muslims.

“We don’t agree with your Hillary, Bernie and especially that Elizabeth Warren nut who says she is part Indian but isn’t, thank the Great Spirit.

“You pollute our land; you pollute the very air that we breathe; you pollute the water that we all drink; and you pollute your population with crazed psycho-maniacs – Muslims — that want to kill you as much as they want to kill us. These Muslims want to destroy your country: want to destroy the very concept of freedom, so you best be paying attention.

“You people don’t make a lick of sense, and that’s all I’m going to say. Yes, we Indians can have riches, but the White Man would just steal it from us the same way he stole our oil wells in Oklahoma and elsewhere.

“I have said all that I’ve come to say. Goodnight, my friend and Chief. Thank you allowing me to say my peace.”

“You’re welcome, Doc Ott. Well, viewers, I see that our time is up. It seems as if the American Indian isn’t any too pleased with how the White Man continues to destroy the habitat for everybody and doesn’t like the Muslims much, either. There’s not one Indian tribe in the world’s history of Indian tribes that would dare invite the enemy to share their tent, yet, while you were reading this editorial, many Muslims were either invited in or sneaked in to our country. Doc Ott and I, Chief New Leaf, think you make big mistake. And so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all good night: Goodnight.”

“Great show, guys. Hey, Doc Ott, want to join us for burgers? My treat.”

[NOTE: Most Americans think of the Navajo Indians of the roadside ‘Indian blanket/trinket stands’ as nothing but docile and peace-loving sheep-herders, but they couldn’t be farther from the truth. Of all the Indian tribes in America, the Spanish feared the Navajo the most as the best and fiercest fighters: Navajos not only fought well but could cover vast distances quickly. The Navajo Indian tribe is the grandfather of all of the Apache tribes.]

Semper Fi


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