by OPOVV, ©2016

(Jun. 30, 2016) — This is it. Come over here and look down, over there. See it? That’s the pasture; the finite area that makes up, for all intents and purposes, the world of The Cow.

Bring it down a little lower, would you, please? See? They’re different colors and sizes; male and female; and some even have horns.

See that hill over yonder? See that grouping? Yes, that’s right; it’s a distinct gathering of cows of different bloodlines, but they seem to graze peacefully and, no pun intended: contently.

Yes, that’s right: there are quite a few separate groupings that some may call herds, but for today’s discussion, we’ll refer to them as “nations.”  Quite correct: some nations have more of one kind of cow than another.

Notice that the land has water: lakes, rivers and oceans. Can you make out those things floating? The cows call them ships, and those things flying? Aeroplanes; flying contraptions; planes.

Well, for trade, mostly. I mean, you can’t expect an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean to have a steel mill any more than you can expect the State of Pennsylvania to have a Macadamia nut farm.

I wasn’t going to get into that, but you’re right: the chance for specie annihilation increases as travel between what were heretofore considered remote, far-off places is now just hours away. For discussion’s sake, let’s say you’ve a guano company – fertilizer – that you market as the best thing since sliced bread for orchid aficionados.

No, not cows: I was using cows as a metaphor. Cows don’t collect orchids; they may chew them and eat them, but they don’t construct a greenhouse for them on, well, actually anywhere, even in the heart of New York City, and collect them as a hobby or grow them for a cash crop.

Let’s say this fertilizer-collecting operation is in, say, Peru. Okay, then, Argentina. You have employees who bag the guano on Tuesday, then deliver the bag to the airport, and off it goes to New York on Wednesday. By Thursday afternoon someone is lovingly mixing the guano from, where? Argentina, with the original potting soil (or whatever it’s called, maybe just plain old “dirt”) chock-full of nematodes and other stuff, this cornucopia collection of organic goodies, with whatever is in there in the first place mixed with yet another whatever, and who knows what may sprout from the mix? Ebola disease?

The point is that cow and human evolution has happened over thousands and thousands of years, which afforded the time for immune systems to develop a defense from, well, whatever was there wherever they lived. The best example, by far, is the explorers and settlers from Europe — to the North and South American continents — who spread smallpox and syphilis that wiped out the majority of the native peoples. Some Indian tribes were exterminated; distinct gene pools representing human evolution were wiped off the face of the earth. Forever. So we’ll never know if there ever was a DNA nucleotide that contained the gene for TB prevention or cancer in its myriad of forms. Such a colossal waste (maybe. The point is now we’ll never know).

Now back to the cows. Remember that group, herd, nation that was on the hill? Yes, they’re still there. Now, look closely at this other little herd: see what they’re doing? Yes, they’re slaughtering the other cows. Why? Who in the heck knows why? Why, they themselves don’t even know why. They just kill everything that’s alive; they wantonly and deliberately take great pleasure in seeing the suffering of other living creatures, which makes them MAD COWS.

And what do we do with MAD COWS? That’s right: all the other cows within the finite pasture get along but not one abhorrent herd; all the humans on the planet Earth get along reasonably well except for the followers of Islam. Therefore, it would behoove us reasonable human beings to coalesce and become one to, at the minimum, deport these “guano-infested-psycho-cows” from whence they emerged by sending them all back to their own pasture, their own guano heap.

We MUST eliminate the scourge, the rampant, deadly disease that will potentially wipe out the human species from the face of the earth. And it’s not like a choice: it’s called survival.

And that ends today’s lesson. I hope you learned it very well.

Semper Fi


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