by OPOVV, ©2016

(Apr. 26, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and do we ever have a treat for you all tonight! Standing with me is none other than Chief New Leaf, who we ran into as we were setting up shop here back on our turf under the awning across from the railroad station.

“Chief, you got a minute or two to visit?”

“Always glad to visit with you, Mr. Roving. Back on the reservations we play your show in the classrooms, just after the Pledge of Allegiance; did you know that?”

“Didn’t know that one, Chief. That’ll make our sponsors happy, I’m sure, as it does me. Thank you. What finds you up in our neck of the woods?”


“Do any War Dancing?”

“You know I can’t say, but I can tell you this: the tom-toms got a good workout; we had some serious and productive talks and pow-wowed until the rooster greeted the dawn.

“Look, I don’t want to sound secretive and all, but I can’t get into specifics, like which and how many tribes were represented, where we met, how many attended, but I can tell you that our squaws came with us and were instrumental in all our conclusions which, as I’ve said, I am not at liberty to divulge.

“But this I can tell you: we are united in the vision of America that is Trump. We American Indians stand as one people who hear the words of our shamans of the past: ‘united we stand.’ Tecumseh showed the way many moons ago; all did not listen, but all are listening now.

“We saw the danger back when the Marine barracks were blown up in Lebanon back in 1983, and all America did then was to put out tails between our legs and run home. Were we surprised at 9-11, but we weren’t surprised at the fallout.

“Rather than confront the cause – that would be Islam – the military attacked what would look best on the cover of TIME Magazine. But what made matters worse was that those terrorist training camps in Afghanistan already packed up and came to America and started their own camps in the middle of nowhere called Islamovilles, more than 20 of them, operating under the noses of the FBI.

“But then again, maybe not so surprising after all, especially since the DOJ is so obviously and blatantly pro-Muslim.”

“Come on, tell us something new, something we don’t know already.”

“White man has lost his way; America has become blind to the teachings of Mother Earth. While the bear dances with the wolves, you people are crazed about offending someone over something so trivial that makes all of us Indians think that all you people have lost your minds. Same-sex marriage? You take something that’s biologically impossible and you think that just because you say so you can change the facts to suit yourself.

“Life doesn’t work that way. You can’t wish, hope or think to make Nature change just because you pass stupid laws. It’s that kind of thinking that has put this country in the mess it’s in now.

“Western Civilization has a very real problem with the followers of Islam – ‘Kill Jews and Christians wherever Ye may find them’ – yet you not only allow Muslims in your country but in your military as well. It’s your flawed reasoning process that’s so out-of-whack that you can’t even see that you’re making problems for yourselves.

“You think that replacing the Confederate flag will somehow rewrite history. Let me say this: if the truth offends someone they have a lot more serious problem than they have any idea of. If the truth must be rewritten to promote someone’s worldview, then that worldview isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, worrying about, sweating over, or dying for.

“It’s the thought process of the Americans that’s in jeopardy. This election will test that thought process, how people can discern facts and reach a cohesive and comprehensive conclusion that leads to a safer environment in which to raise the next generation.

“I am Chief New Leaf and I speak for all of the American Indian tribes, and we included those of Alaska and Hawaii for the first time who thoughtfully and graciously sent representatives to the Powwow. We voted and the vote was unanimous: we support and will vote for Trump as our next president. This is the conclusion of each and every American Indian tribe.

“And that’s why I came by this morning: to make this announcement. I thank you for allowing me to do so. On behalf of all of the American Indians, I thank you for giving us the opportunity to let our voices be heard.”

“Thank you, Chief. Great speech. Well, folks, that’s our show for tonight where we learned that the Red Man will vote for Trump, and that includes me and my crew for whom I’ll be saying goodnight: Goodnight.”

“Great show, guys. Hey, Chief, what do you think of the Cubs’ chances this year?”

“No comment.”

“Join us for a burger. My treat.”

Semper Fi


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