THE EPITOME OF IGNORANCE
by OPOVV, ©2015
(Oct. 22, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to yet another exciting edition of our award-winning show, or would be if we were ever nominated. As you can see, we’re back down at the docks to welcome, yet again, Professor Wert, the world-renowned intrepid explorer who discovers new and interesting things.
“That’s right, follow me up the gangplank and we’ll go directly to his cabin. And here we are. Hello, Mr. Wert.”
“’Professor Wert,’ please.”
“But isn’t that your name?”
“Yes, but since I really am a professor, my name is Professor Wert.”
“Then that would make you Professor Professor Wert?”
“You got it, Sonny Boy. Look, let’s cut the…we’re on now? Live? Well, then, let’s cut to the chase. If you’ve been following my weekly columns in the local newspaper, you know that I’ve been on sort-of a quest to find the ‘Land of the Dumb Bunnies,’ kind-of like looking for Prester John’s so-called mythical kingdom. I mean, just because they didn’t find Prestor’s kingdom doesn’t necessarily mean it didn’t exist. Kind-of like looking for WMDs in Iraq.”
“Well, welcome to our show. I’m sure we have a lot of people holding their breath by now, so tell us, did you find it? Did you really discover the ‘Land of the Dumb Bunnies?’”
“Yes and yes. I mean, I’ve discovered not one, but two lands inhabited by dumb bunnies. Here, let me explain. Remember how the Nazis during World War II wouldn’t allow ‘Jewish Science?’ Now, how stupid is that? I mean, the laws of physics are the same for everyone. So all the brilliant Jewish physicists, mathematicians, chemists, whatever, flew the coop. Some ended up in Bletchley Park, England, to break the German codes; others went to Los Alamos, New Mexico, to develop the atomic bomb; and some went to MIT, the University of Chicago and other places around the United States building the electronic gizmos that won the war for us.
“Here’s the point: it doesn’t make a hoot of difference the year or the place, but whenever a specific group is targeted for being ostracized, then the whole must suffer. The Nazi regime wanted a scapegoat, and they choose the Jews, and it worked against them big-time.
“There’s no need to fast-forward to the Year of Our Lord, 2015, but we could. In this example it just doesn’t make a bit of difference. As a matter of fact, we could go back 1,400 years as our starting point. Listen, Islam has preached about keeping women as second-class citizens forever, and there’s absolutely no hope of any change during the next 1,400 years.
“Think of the monumental stupidity to deny half the population’s taking part in advancing the knowledge of a people so that more food can be produced with less human involvement, thereby leaving plenty of time to develop new and exciting medical breakthroughs to increase the chances of humans reaching for the stars, for space exploration, while at the same time fighting pollution, ignorance and poverty in a determined effort to keep our oceans free from contamination from pesticide run-off, garbage, and oil spills.”
“Wow! Talk about a mouthful. Yes, yes, we understand about the stupid Nazis and the stupid Muslims; that’s all been documented until the cows come home. So just outright tell us: where are these ‘Lands of the Dumb Bunnies?’”
“Okay, you asked for it, so I’ll tell you: whenever there is a Muslim you’re looking at pure waste; pure stupidity; and someone who isn’t even fighting for a cause, because fighting for a lost cause means that the fight is over even before it’s begun.
“And the other ‘Land of the Dumb Bunnies’ is right here: you’re standing in it; you listeners out there in television land are in it, too. You have a de facto president who has never been publicly vetted, and if he were, it would be discovered that he’s a Muslim; ergo, America, by default, is also the ‘Land of the Dumb Bunnies.’
“Now that would be something if that’s all there was, but there’s more. There are millions of you people who just don’t care about Muslims and illegal immigrants within the borders of America, but what really takes the cake are organizations like NOW and the SPLC that either don’t care or don’t want to acknowledge the devastation Obama has done to your country, about the plain fact that Socialism has never worked, anywhere, and never will — humans being, after all, humans — and the facts about Sharia Law. Conveniently avoiding the truth by not speaking it. Afraid of CAIR getting on your case, so you cave.
“Your military is in shambles, as is your so-called ‘justice’ system, where the District Attorneys and judges are the real criminals; your economy has tanked; you borrow money from China so China owns you. China is calling the shots, not you.
“So there are the results of my discoveries: ‘The Lands of the Dumb Bunnies.’ Now, as you noticed when you boarded, the ship is about to set sail. This time we’re on a quest to see if we can locate a past presidential candidate who wouldn’t accept any donations, any perks and any pay, unbelievable as it seems. Someone who couldn’t be bought off, bribed, or threatened.
“North Korea mouthing off? Not if this guy had been in charge. Anyway, you have to leave now, that last whistle was last call. Thanks for having me on your show. See you when I get back.”
“Okay, then, thanks for the interview, or at least for the information. Have a nice trip. Good luck on your next hunt. See you when you get back. Bye. And goodbye to you, dear viewers. Thanks for watching: Goodnight.
“Okay, I think we came through this hallway. What? Oh, right: passageway. And these aren’t stairs, it’s a ‘ladder,’ right? I know that ’port’ is left because it has four letters, and you tie a square knot by ‘right-over-left, left-over-right.’ Hey, let’s say we grab a burger on the way back to the studio. My treat.”