“YOU JUST DON’T GET IT”
by OPOVV, ©2015
(Sep. 29, 2015) — Jobs; taxes; illegal immigration, you name it, there’s virtually an endless list of problems.
Let’s not forget Planned Parenthood; trade balance out-of-whack; our high school graduates falling behind the graduates of other countries; and, a lot of the time, the justice system more guilty than the people they arrest.
And then add the corruptness of the Federal Reserve Bank; the courts ruling in favor of the Executive Branch and against the Constitutional rights of us citizens; the government’s fanatical desire to abolish the 2nd Amendment; and to top it all off, global warming nonsense, and our country has some really serious problems.
Knock-knock.
“Can’t you read the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign? It means what it says. Go away!”
“Ah, sorry. No, not sorry, let’s just say ‘pretend sorry,’ okay? But we’ve got some breaking news out here that can’t wait.”
“Who in the heck are you people? And what’s with the camera? Look, I’m writing an important editorial and don’t wish to be disturbed. I’ve obligations, readers counting on me to save the world.”
“In your dreams. Face it, we’re here and we’re in, so go write about saving the world some other place. This breaking news is just too important for any sort of unnecessary delays. Camera ‘ON.’
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our show. Sorry to preempt your regularly-scheduled programming, but this news is really too important for any sort of delay.
“For those of you who aren’t familiar with our show, we go out among you and ask what’s on your mind. Oh, sorry, Roving Reporter here with my cameraman and sound lady.
“Well, that’s what we were doing tonight, down at the sidewalk in front of our studios. Run the tape.
“Excuse me, Roving here taking the ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ Where you from?”
“Mars.”
“Mars? Like the planet Mars?”
“That’s right. See, I can prove it. Go ahead, ask me a question.”
“Don’t mind if I do. First question: what is Islam?”
“Islam is a misunderstood and peaceful religion.”
“Wow! Okay, how about answering this one: Is Obama Constitutionally eligible to hold the office of POTUS?”
“For sure. He was born in Hawaii and uses a Social Security card from America.”
“This is amazing! Are we getting this on camera? How’s the sound, you reading this?
“How old are you? Where’d you learn English? Where do you live? Do you have ray guns like Flash Gordon?”
“Sorry, but have an appointment in the basement of your Natural History museum. But I will say this: you talk about illegal immigration and jobs and taxes. What you should be talking about is saving your necks, but your ‘political correctness’ stupidity prevents you from facing and articulating the facts.
“And I’ll say more: you spend all your time showing Planned Parenthood videos and you talk about jobs, jobs, jobs, and all the while this is going on, young girls are being kidnapped all over the world to be sold as sex slaves and then murdered. Thousands of your precious Christians are murdered and you’re afraid to call Islam what it is. You say, ‘It’s okay to have a Muslim as a president,’ as if you don’t know you already have one.
“We used to make your country a vacation destination, but no more. I’m the last. My job is to close our tourist accommodations.
“You just don’t get it. You actually welcome Muslims within your borders. You’ll reap the whirlwind, but we won’t be around to witness your end: way too sad to watch, especially after all of your fellow Americans suffered and died for the freedoms you so cavalierly seem to disdain and are tossing aside so, so utterly carelessly. You’ll be sorry someday, and I’ll wager sooner than you can possibly imagine. We’re building an amusement park on the other side of the moon, and that’ll be our new vacation destination.
“The name of the game is to win, but you’re not going to win because you’re not going to survive. You think that Islam is a religion. I was just kidding you: Islam is death to all who are non-believers. There isn’t, like, a choice. Converts are welcomed, then given their tickets to Paradise. Beheaded. Islam is death.
“Good riddance and good luck. I hope you people can get it together because we used to liked your country. You’ve been having Muslims kill your American soldiers for years: just look at Ft. Hood, and you still allow Muslims in your military. You haven’t learned one darn thing, and it really looks like you never will. So long.”
“Wait! Don’t go. How do you travel back and forth? Darn, gone. A real honest-to-goodness Martian. Wow!
“Okay, turn off the tape. That’s what we got, a real Martian. I told you we had a story. Proof of an extraterrestrial, if ever there was one. Anyone who believes that Obama is eligible has just got to be from Mars. And he looked and dressed just like us. Well, I told you we had a breaking story. Now we’ll return you to your regular program. Goodnight.”
“Man! A real Martian! Let’s grab a burger. My treat.”