by OPOVV, ©2015

(Sep. 2, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another installment of ‘Interesting People Among Us.’ As you can see, we’re back at the university, this time to interview the Dean of Anthropology, the world-renowned Professor Jeremy H. Clark, author of the best- seller, ‘A Million Years of War: Design of the Human Fingernail and the Congruent Evolution of the Flea.’

“Hello, Professor. The flea?”

“Forget the flea. America’s gone crazy. You’ve been noticing all these new-fandangled inventions to remove hair from the human body? Subconsciously everyone is striving to be a member of good standing of the pack, which is why with young men, when they join the military, go through a rite-of-passage called ‘Boot Leave,’ where, after being cooped-up for three months on base, they are finally let loose for a weekend. Returning to the barracks Sunday night, they proudly show off their newly acquired tattoos, sometimes the name of the girl they left behind, from which, more likely than not, they’ll receive a ‘Dear John’ letter within the week.

“Other, more elaborate configurations include ‘Death before Dishonor’ and other theme-related advertisements on the high level of patriotism that the individual believes he or she may have. I mean, maybe there’s an Obot who’s in the military, or once was, who took the Oath, who now supports Socialism and has become a sworn enemy of the Constitution.  They aren’t even aware of their transgressions: they’re lost souls who believe that the Democratic Party hasn’t morphed into the ‘Anti-Constitution Party.’

“But that’s not important, the message itself. What is of note is the pageant of the showing; of the displaying; of the ‘Ticket-to-the-Club,’ in our example, a tattoo to enter a warrior’s society.

“Americans, women and men, are removing evolution’s early-warning system from their body voluntarily in order to show off to other like-brainwashed individuals that, they too, are proud members of a group that belongs, as in ‘Look at how progressive I am.’

“The word ‘progressive’ does not necessarily mean ‘better’: all it means nowadays is ‘change’ and, as we know — just reference Obama’s ‘Hope and Change’ — change can certainly be for the worse. If Obama can abolish the Second Amendment, by whatever means, including Executive Orders or declaring Martial Law to circumvent the Constitution even more than he and ex-Attorney General Eric Holder already have, America will follow Germany’s path to self-destruction as sure as day follows night. Bet on it. Hitler changed Germany. I rest my case.

“But we were discussing, or should’ve been, the reason why we’re covered with hair in the first place. Everything evolves. Picking fleas out of your mate’s scalp by using your fingernails is one thing, but fleas aren’t humans’ only enemy. You see, while we are evolving, everything else around us is doing the same, trying to get an upper hand on increasing the odds of giving the species an upper hand on survival.

“You see, there’s a reason, and a darn good one, for everything pertaining to the changes that humans have gone through since the beginning of the beginning. If a human arm is devoid of body hair, did you know that a mosquito can land with impunity, or a spider could walk on and the person wouldn’t even know it? Ever have a bug land on you while sleeping? Well, if you shaved your hair you’d never wake up; maybe get bit. End of story.

“But we’re not talking common sense here: we’re talking about the demise of individualism in order to be a member in good standing of a group, in this case the ‘Hairless Club of the USA: I Pass for Chinese (at least in my mind). I say ‘Welcome, China-mindset people: please start using the brain that the Good Lord gave you.’

“Look, let me explain it this way: there’s lots of people, and if everyone’s like-minded they’d blend in, get along, stand in line, be quiet, not criticize, mind their own business; and look the other way while LTC Terry Lakin is marched through the airport lobby on his way to a Federal Prison for just asking to see Obama’s BIRTH CERTIFICATE.”

“Excuse me, but are you saying that being hairless is a symptom? That people do stuff but they don’t even know why they’re doing it?”

“Precisely, young man! The subliminal controls all, you know. What you got to do is to stay above the ‘fad,’ the ‘trend,’ what’s in ‘vogue at the moment: think for yourself.

“Take the difference between Trump and Hillary, or between Trump and Bush. The point is the difference between someone who can think versus those who just go along with the flow, don’t make waves, keep your mouth shut. Police have guns to protect themselves; you have guns to protect yourself. Hillary wants your guns for you to be helpless, understand? Just think ‘Hitler, Nazi and the Death Camps’ and you’ll be okay.

“Symptom. Remember, one day they’ll have a line with a sign, ‘If you love America, turn in your guns’ and you’ll see a bunch of brain-dead, indoctrinated zombies dutifully disarming themselves, and that’ll be the beginning of the end.”

“But we’ve seen that already, ‘Turn in your guns for cash or a gift card.’ We even did a show on that very same thing: we interviewed people standing in line. Got us a good rating that week.”

“Precisely, and that’s the point. The mindless just go along to get along. Like a woman getting on in years vainly trying to pass herself off as, if not more youthful, then certainly ‘hip,’ ‘with it,’ maybe even a ‘progressive’ or a person who gets ‘offended.’ They’re out there, everywhere, believing that freedom is just a word and not worth dying for, let alone going through the agony of a hangnail.

“I’ve a meeting to attend to. I have my job and you have yours. Let’s get to it. Goodbye. Oh, by the way, wife likes your show.”

“Tell her thank you, and thank you for sharing your time and insights with us.

“Well, that was interesting, to say the least. That about does it for this episode, so we’ll be saying goodnight. Goodnight.”

“Now that wasn’t so bad. Let’s grab a burger in the campus cafeteria, I hear they make a good one here. My treat.”

Semper Fi 


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