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by OPOVV, ©2015

(Aug. 1, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve been invited to this location via a rather cryptic message. Here, let me read it for you: ‘Roving; Come quickly. See for yourself. Cordially with the Utmost Sincerity, Dr. Herbert West, Institute for the Very Gullible.’ What we’re supposed to see is beyond me, so we’ll take this trip together.

“There’s the gatehouse. He’s waving us through. And now around the drive where we see an elderly gentleman waving at us. Dr. West, I presume?”

“Hello, Roving. Glad you could make it on such short notice, but a new batch just arrived, ones we haven’t had before. These are the first of the ‘Let’s Rewrite History’ gullibles, so it should be rather entertaining. Oh, sorry, that was rather unprofessional of me, wasn’t it? I should’ve said it should be rather ‘educational.’ Anyway, come on in and I’ll show you what I mean. Watch out. Step aside, please.”

A group of about 30 or so people shuffle on by muttering in a foreign tongue.

“Who were those people?”

“Oh, those? Our Lithuanians. See, we accept people from all over the world. As long as their relatives pay, we accept all major credit cards. Oh, there I go again. Rather crass of me, wasn’t it? But it brings me to the subject of how we accept patients.

“First, they’ve got to pay for it, and that’s usually the burden of a close relative. But you’re not here to learn about the Institute’s financials; you’re here to see the newbies (with a flourish, Dr. West throws open double doors that lead to an auditorium, where he takes the podium and instructs us to sit in the front, but on the side).

The auditorium has about 45 people sitting near the front. The average age is 30.

“Welcome to your new home for the foreseeable future. As you know, you’ve been selected by a close relative or friend, and in some cases a close neighbor, and in a few more cases many neighbors. As a matter of fact, a couple of you have had whole communities fund your stay here at the ‘Institute for the Gullible.’

“What is the ‘Institute for the Gullible?’  Well, besides giving my staff and me a satisfactory monetary reward, we try and repair the damage that’s been done to your brain and, in many of you, that means all the way back to Square One.

“Let’s see where we stand with y’all. All of those who think Islam is a religion, please raise your hand.

“Thank you. Keep them raised, please, while an orderly places a red armband on you.

“Next question: America’s Civil War was just magically won, and the only people who died were mean and nasty Southern racist bigots. For those of you who think that statement is true, raise your hand and an orderly will place a yellow armband on you.

“Last question: for those of you who see the last 50 years, and especially since 9-11, between 1) ‘political correctness,’ 2) a drastic increase of people getting ‘offended,’ and 3) the charge of ‘Islamophobia’ being directly related, please raise your hand. What, no hands raised?

“Well, that’s why you’re all here, to learn about the connection between the past and the present. Furthermore, you will also learn that by not being students of the past, you’re very likely to make the same blunders as generations as recently as twice removed. Now, follow the orderlies to the classroom where you will be taught the unvarnished truth. Good luck.

“Hold it! Someone just asked the question, ‘Are the removal of the Ten Commandments and Islamophobia related?’ I can see someone going home this afternoon. Good question. The answer is ‘Yes.’ You see, this is how it works.

“There are a lot of us with big hearts and good intentions, but some of us fail to see the forest for the trees, and the example of the removal of the Ten Commandments from public places is such an example. On the surface, those people mean well, but the results speak otherwise. But, bear with me now, look at the removal of the Ten Commandments as a step on the attack of Christianity and the Constitution. See? If you look at the bigger picture, the forest being the whole country and what it stands for, the removal of the ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ is definitely not a good idea. Removing the Ten Commandments gives the wrong message, like it’s ‘Okay with us if you steal.’

“But, actually, it’s worse than that, if that’s at all possible, and it is. You see, by accommodating; by acquiescing; by giving in to the demands of the few because, let’s say, ONE person is ‘offended,’ the door is opened for, let’s say, a complaint by a Muslim which results in just a little Sharia Law creeping into our daily lives. So we’re living without the Ten Commandments:  so what? The point is that we lost a little bit of America, is what, because someone got ‘offended.’ Maybe that someone was a Muslim, maybe not, but the result is that because of a complaint we caved in and we’re one step closer to ‘The Sharia,’ is what. Many Americans, unknowingly, by supporting such acts as removing the Ten Commandments, are acting as agents of the Muslim Brotherhood.

“Off you go to your classes. The sooner you can connect the dots, that is to say, make the direct connection from an Obot to defacing statues, to removing flags and Ten Commandments, from being ‘politically correct’ and, in the process, harming our country in the long run (burning down the forest) in order to be seen and considered as ‘enlightened,’ ‘progressive,’ ‘improved,’ and ‘accommodating,’ the sooner you can be sent back out into the real world where you can interact with people and know what the heck you’re talking about and acting on. Thank you.”

“Well, Dr. West, that was quite a speech. ‘Connect the dots:’  good one. So it’s all connected, the no ‘Pledge of Allegiance,’ or prayer before a high school football game, or having an American flag on Cinco de Mayo, or any such nonsense that’s been plaguing our country, especially sine 9-11. And gullible Americans can’t seem to see what’s going down right in front of their very eyes.

“Incredible. I mean, who would’ve thought that being offended by an American flag in someone’s window in a condo in Florida is really acting as an agent of the Muslim Brotherhood in pushing Sharia down our throats? But we judge by results; it’s all we can do.

“There are lot of Americans who should be totally ashamed of themselves, is what I think. And imagine them raising kids, being parents. Scary.”

“Well, Roving and crew, I think you understand what the ‘Institute for the Very Gullible’ is all about. I’m glad you could make it.”

“Well, Dr. West, thank you for the invite. I’m sure our viewers learned a little bit more about our country.”

“One more thing: before we release anyone from the Institute, we put him through the State’s gun safety course and, when they leave, we make sure they have a rifle with a scope, a .30-06, by the way; a shotgun and a revolver. They have all the proper license and conceal-carry permits, too. We pride ourselves in turning out responsible citizens.”

“Well, doctor, our time is up. Thank you for the invite, again. Nice place you got here. This is your Roving Reporter saying goodnight. Goodnight.”

Semper Fi


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