IS THERE A PLAN TO “ISLAMIZE” THE U.S.?
by OPOVV, ©2015
“Hello, Professor King. Welcome to our show. What are you up to?”
“Hello, Roving. Nice intro. I’m surprised you heard about my M&M theory this quickly, especially since I myself only came up with it last week.”
“‘M&M theory?’ What’s that all about?”
“Now don’t get me wrong and don’t think I’ve gone off my rocker, but I did get a grant from the Institute of Mental Health for the princely sum of seventeen million dollars, which should lend some credence to the validity of my research.”
“And? We’re waiting. Don’t let the other shoe drop.”
“And that’s what my wife says she likes about your show: direct and to the point. No diplomacy. Ever been told you’re rude?”
“All the time. You think it’s easy to get people to talk on camera? Time’s money, and if I don’t keep the idiots talking, sorry, then they’ll switch stations and watch the commercials on another channel and then my show’s ratings will nose-dive and I’ll be out of a job. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but our economy has been in a ‘recovery’ mode since January 20, 2009.”
“Where were we?”
“Oh, yes. Thank you. Here’s the theory in a nutshell. You’re not laughing. Nutshell. Here, let me explain. Did you know that the highest rate of the consumption of M&M’s in the United States is in an area known as ‘Tornado Alley’?
“Here, allow me to demonstrate. Stand back, please, and put these ear protectors on. You too, cameraman and sound lady, while I turn our tornado machine on. After I turn it on I’ll pour 20 lbs. of M&M peanuts in and watch what happens. Plain are no good: all they do is gum up the works. Now watch.”
Loud whirring sound and then the sound of peanuts splattering against the wall of the tornado machine is heard. Machine winds down as the Professor steps off the ladder with a big smile on his face.
“There! See what I mean? Impressive, wouldn’t you say?”
“I’d say, to the tune of seventeen million of our taxpayer’s dollars. Well, I got to hand it to you, Professor, some people sell drugs and rob banks, but you just ask for it. Amazing. Let’s get out of here, guys. There’s no story here.”
“Wait! You didn’t hear my political theory. It’s what I talked to your producer about.”
“What ‘political theory?’”
“Not a ‘theory’: fact. Iran; Islam; Muslim Brotherhood; CAIR; Obama; Eric Holder; Sharia Law; Creeping Sharia; removing the Ten Commandments; no prayer in schools; no ‘God’; political correctness: they’re ALL related, directly related.
“Removing the Confederate Battle Flag; removing statues; removing Tom Sawyer from High School libraries; censorship: rewriting history in their own image. Islam.
“Look, of all the groups and organizations in all of the countries in the world, it’s no coincidence that the advisors to the former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, and the de facto president Obama are Muslim and members of the Muslim Brotherhood? Why, the chance of that occurring is a GooglePlex to one, that’s what.”
“Now why didn’t you say so when we first met, when our show started? That was the story, not this M&M nonsense.
“Here’s the deal: this 17 million: no strings attached. I can use it for whatever purpose I want, as long as it’s somehow related to what I got it for. So on the application, where it asked the question ‘reason applying for grant,’ I just put ‘to keep America safe.’ So I’m going to use every red cent of the 17 million dollars to spread the word.
“We have millions of these Muslims within our borders. They’re not here to bask in the glory of the Constitution; no, they’re here to take over our country. What, you think they immigrate for education for women, free speech and ice-cold beer and rock and roll? Mini-skirts? Music? Second Amendment? I think not. We know not.
“One word: deport.”
“I’m afraid our time’s up, Professor. And we did a little checking while you were making your speech, and you’re right: Huma Abedin, a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, was Hillary’s secretary, and Valerie Jarrett, another Muslim Brotherhood member, is next to Obama. Thanks for being on our show, Professor. You came through at the end.
“Well, folks, time’s up. Thanks for watching. This is your Roving Reporter: goodnight.”
“Hey, Professor, could you use some of that 17 million to go out with us and grab a burger? You can? Let’s go! Good show, crew.”