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by OPOVV, ©2015

What will Americans celebrate this Independence Day?

(Jul. 1, 2015) — “Hey, look! There’s that Roving Reporter dude. We on television? Hi, Mom!”

“Alright, guys, let’s keep it down. You all been drinking?”

“Let’s see. We’re at the fair to celebrate the 4th and he asks us if we’re lit-up. Watched you the other night. You’re lucky ‘Flagman,’ what was his name, Harry? Harry didn’t shoot you.”

“Guys, if you’d excuse me, please, I’ve got a job to do.”

“Why don’t you ask us a question, how about that?”

“I just did and you all failed, so run along and let me interview an adult, if you don’t mind.”

“You calling me stupid?”

“Who you vote for, the last presidential election?”

“I didn’t vote, so there.”

“Yes, you did, and you don’t even know it. If you’re qualified to vote, and didn’t, then you automatically voted for whoever won. It’s that simple.”


“Now, really guys, excuse me while I step in and have my fortune read.

“Hello? Hello? Oh, hi. There’s no door so there’s nothing to knock on. Mind if I interview you?”

“You escaping from those drunks. I was watching you on television. When you’re going to open the show with your ‘Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, do we ever have a show for you tonight’? You going to do that?”

“You just did it for me, thanks.”

“Well, at least I don’t have to look into the crystal ball to see if you’ve a chip on your shoulder. How about you sitting over there, on that side, and I’ll sit here, and you with the camera and you holding the microphone, how about sitting on this bench here?

“All comfy? Alright now, let’s remove this cloth that covers the crystal ball and see what we can see. Ask away.”

“How long you been with this outfit?”

“I’m not. I just rent this tent from them, like a kiosk at the mall, get it? I’m in the Yellow Pages on the internet and work out of my house, next town over. I do this for fun; breaks the monotony of ‘Is my husband cheating on me?’ questions, that and ‘When will I meet Prince Charming?’ Really pathetic. America has its fair share of dumb women, this I know.”

“Umm, we’re on the sir, going out live, you know.”

“Well, thank you. I said I was watching you when you stuck your nose inside my tent.”

“Hold it! Now just stop right there.”

“Had you going, didn’t I? No, I’ve had it with American women. Whine-whine-whine. I quit, I just retired, right this very minute on live TV. Heck, I’ve been doing this gig for over 40 years. I’ve had it up to here with the whines. Makes me sick.

“Let me tell you something, young man. The American woman since the days of Women’s Lib is gone. That NOW organization is a Commie front that’s running head-blocker for the Muslims. Muslims ‘honor-kill’ their women. Why can’t they tell it like it really is: premeditated murder. They kill females for whatever made-up reason, or for no reason, without censorship or any repercussions. At a whim they murder, and not one little peep out of these women’s groups, not one.

“And then there’s Hillary.  You want an example of giving up America for political expediency, that’s our Hillary. When Hillary was Secretary of State, her vice chairwoman was Huma Abedin, a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, for Pete’s sake. The Muslim Brotherhood, the same gangsters that tried to take over Egypt. They were even talking about destroying all the mummies in the Cairo Egyptian Museum and blowing up the pyramids, I kid you not. And there’s Hillary, right smack-dab in the middle of it all.

“Now take that Carly Fiorina woman. Now we’re talking about somebody who knows her own mind. Smart as a whip. I’d like to see a Carly-Hillary debate. Poor Hillary: wouldn’t stand a chance. And Carly isn’t one of those career politicians that you find under every rock in Washington. And that’s what they’re afraid of, isn’t it? Both the Democrats and the Republicans, that’s why they badmouth Fiorina and Trump. They’re afraid of those two because they can’t control them; they can’t tell them what to say; they can’t control their ‘Talking Points’ is what it is. Both parties are afraid of the Truth coming out, like the country being fed up with illegal immigrants and everything you see on the shelves is ‘Made in China.’

“Look: this Benghazi thing…either Hillary was totally incompetent of protecting her employees or she had an active hand in getting them killed. It’s one or the other, and either way she’s toast as far as being presidential material. Why, she couldn’t even run a 7-11. Imagine her as the Commander-in-Chief? I think not.

“No, American women, on the whole, wish that the Democratic Party was still the party of JFK when, in reality, it’s been taken over by Socialists and other enemies of the United States. It’s not the Democratic Party of yesterday. Wish they’d wake up to that fact.

“Just because America has been here yesterday, going back a little over 200 years, and is here today, right now, doesn’t mean it’s going to be here tomorrow or next week. Before Obama, we wouldn’t even have been thinking about such a catastrophe, but now we must, because it’s on the table!”

And with that, the fortune teller’s fist comes crashing down on the table top, knocking the crystal ball off its stand. As the camera zooms in, the crystal ball rolls off the edge of the table, hitting the only stone on the earthen floor, smashing into a thousand smithereens.

“Well, that was something. I see we ran a little over, so those of you tuning in for the ball game, the only part you missed were the opening commercials.

“This is your Roving Reporter, live from the midway at the county fair for this 4th of July celebrations. And before I sign off, I like to throw in an editorial, if I may, so please bear with me.

“Never in my life have I heard what I’ve been hearing today. All of my life it’s been ‘Happy Fourth!’ and ‘Have a Happy Independence Day’. Well, today, all day, my crew and I have heard only ‘Have a happy and safe Fourth’, or just ‘Have a safe Fourth.’ We  now have millions of Muslims within our borders tonight, when before Obama there were but a few, at least compared to now.

“Before Obama, there was NOT ONE Islamic terrorist training camp anywhere in America. They were overseas, in Iran, Libya and Afghanistan, and now they’re all over here, spread out all around our country. The mosques are Islamic armories, and there are thousands of them.

“The point is that we’re having to say ‘Have a safe Fourth’ because we have millions of our enemy, the enemy of Western Civilization, within our borders. It didn’t used to be this way. The world is a more dangerous place than it was before 9-11, and it’s a more dangerous place now since 9-11. We’re not dealing with the problem. We don’t hear the word ‘DEPORT’ from anyone these days. No one. No one cares. Everyone’s afraid to speak the Truth.

“Well, that’s our report for tonight. Have a Happy Fourth, and please request that they play ‘Tara’s Theme’ from ‘Gone with the Wind’ at your concert. Goodnight.”

Semper Fi


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