by OPOVV, ©2015

(Jun. 8, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight we’re at the Grand Opening of a new quiz show, ‘What’s Wrong in Washington?’  I just got through talking to the show’s producer and asked him if the airways could accommodate yet another comedy, and he took umbrage to my question by saying, ‘Listen, Roving Whatever, we take the art of stealing money from the taxpayers very seriously in this town, I’ll have you know, and if you think the National Debt is something to joke about, I suggest you cover ‘cat’s-caught-up-tree’ stories.”

“So I say to him, ‘Listen, Big Television Producer, you’re telling me it’s just another one of those ‘roll-’em-out-Sunday-morning-pundit’ live cartoons for adults, remember Susan Rice, shows?’ and he says, ‘Look, I’ll level with you. Saturday mornings the FCC allows cartoons for the about-to-become-brain-dead, and on Sunday mornings they air shows for the graduates of the Saturday morning shows, but don’t quote me ’cause I’ll just deny ever telling the truth. Geez, if anybody told the truth in this town they’d be crucified.’”

“Oh, look, here comes the show’s host, a famous Hollywood actor that they don’t write parts for anymore. Hey! Got a minute?”

“A minute? For the press? I’ve got forever, just kidding. No, take all the time you want, as long as it’s not more than a couple of minutes. We’re about to go on, but then you know that. What do you want to know?”

“Well, why you? I mean, all you do is parrot other people’s lines. You don’t even write the stuff you say on the big screen. All you do is recite something somebody else wrote.”

“And isn’t it wonderful? Imagine, making all kinds of big money and all I got to do is, as Fred Astaire once answered the question, ‘Isn’t the dancing hard?’ to which he replied, ‘Not at all. Just hit the spot on time.’ And that’s it.

“Look, I know what you’re going to say, that we Hollywood types don’t know anything about anything, and you’d be right, except for the fact that we got a lot of money while most people don’t.

“Let me put it to you this way: ever hear the saying, ‘You can’t see the forest for the trees?’  Well, in this town they live by that saying. It’s like this: as a whole, as a group, Congress is as corrupt as they come, wallowing in the hotbed in the epicenter of Capitalism. Why, a congressman can come here worth pennies and in less than 20 years leave the town with a quarter of a billion dollars, so what do you say to that?

“Here’s the point I’m trying to make: it’s like the Muslim thing, you know. Picture that painting by Edvard Munch, ‘The Scream,’ it’s called, but it should’ve been named, ‘Look, Folks, he finally got it!’  Getting back to the Muslims: the fallacy of the ‘moderate Muslim,’ the tree in the forest. You see, the ‘forest,’ the savage hoard of Muslims, believe just as it’s written in the Quran: ‘Kill Jews and Christians wherever Ye may find them,’ ‘Hunt down and kill those who leave Islam,’ honor killings and all the rest. But if you take one ‘tree,’ one Muslim, they’ll swear up and down that, no, they didn’t take to the streets and cheer and celebrate when those planes brought the Twin Towers down; oh, no, it was somebody else, maybe one of their neighbors. Blasphemy!

“Same with those in Congress. Raising debt? Can’t balance the budget? Cost overruns? Don’t blame one politician; blame all of them. Can’t abolish the IRS, Obamacare? Unable to articulate the words ‘ineligible’ and ‘deport?’ Well, that’s why they want you to see the forest. Don’t look too closely at a single tree, politician or Muslim. Oh, no, don’t do that, ’cause you just might find the dirty truth.

That’s why the IRS will never be abolished: it’s where all the money comes from, out of the pockets of the working stiff to pay for the foundation of the pedestal the politicians have built for themselves. That’s right; they make their own laws, retirement and healthcare plans. ‘Equal but separate.’

“And that’s why I get to be the overpaid host for this ridiculous show, ‘What’s Wrong in Washington?’ There’ll be no truths exposed, just another hour of Susan Rice lies. And I’m as superficial as the rest of them, and they know it, I know it, you know it, and even the about to be ‘brain-dead’ viewers of the children’s cartoon shows know it.  And now, if you’ll excuse me, the show is about to start.”

“Well, thanks for being so candid. And break a leg!

“That’s it for now. Thanks for watching. This is Roving Reporter saying goodnight.”

Semper Fi


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