“FOREVER FAITHFUL”
by OPOVV, ©2014
(Nov. 3, 2014) — “Evening, all. Roving Reporter here in the Windy City trying to narrow the mystique of why a Chicago Cubs fan is like no other sport fan ever, at any time or any place, in the annals of the human race.
“Excuse me, sir, but could you spare a minute? Like to ask you a few questions. Are you a Cubs fan, by any chance?”
“We on television? Hi, Mom. A Cubs fan? Nope, I’m a White Sox guy, have been all my life. Never liked those Cubs, what’s the point? Nothing but let-down. Hey, gotta run. Voting, you know? Like they say: ‘Vote early and vote often.’ Naw, just kiddin’. Ciao.”
Roving Reporter: “That’s what I like about Chicagoans: brief and to the point. Excuse me, but what about them Cubs?”
“What about what? You trying to make trouble? Look, sonny, you don’t joke about them Cubs.”
Roving Reporter: “Ah, excuse me, I’m just trying to do my job, asking people what is it that makes them a Cubs fan in the first place, that’s all.”
“Well, if you put it that way. Look, listen up. A Cubs fan is born, got that? It’s in those so-called genes. Some people are Cub fans, some are Sox fans and some, God forbid, are Cardinal fans, although I’ve nothing against St. Louis, not personally, that is. I must say, about St. Louis, that they got the best-looking women, but we’ve better museums. Gotta catch that train, so if you’ll excuse me?”
Roving Reporter: “Hello, sir, like to ask you a question. I see you’re wearing a Cub hat. You want to talk about that?”
“Love to, but not out here in this wind, although I don’t know why they call it ‘The Windy City’; San Francisco is windier; Buffalo gets more snow, although we get our fair share. Went through Boot Camp in Great Lakes Naval Training Center right smack-dab in the middle of winter, so gotta tell you Chicago gets the ‘Cold Prize,’ but you wanted to ask me about my hat.
“I’m a Cub fan, yes I am. Have been, all my life. Since when? Well, here’s how it works: there’s two kids of people, at least here in Chicago, that is. One is a gambler, rolling the dice on the commodities exchange or the horses and dogs, while the other has their two feet planted in reality or, to put it in Chicago terminology, ‘planted in cement.’
“You could say the two teams we have are either blue collar or white collar. You see, about them Cubs. We don’t care if they don’t ‘not-win,’ although if they don’t ‘not-lose’ is even better ‘cause then we get to sing along with the ‘Go, Cubs Go ’ song. No. What we enjoy is the game itself; the purity of the moment, where we’ve a guy on third, no outs, and we know he ain’t coming home but, you see, the other team doesn’t know that, and that’s just one of the things that makes it fun to watch.”
Roving Reporter: “ What’s this ‘not-win;’ don’t you mean ‘lost the game?’ And what about this ‘not-lose’ nonsense?”
“You see, you don’t get it and never will, that’s why people who move to Chicago become, without a doubt, Sox fans. They can’t take it; they just don’t understand.
“Let me try and explain it to you. You say ‘win’ while a Cub fan, a true Cub will say ‘not-lose’ because we know they’re going to lose anyway, and if they, as you say, ‘win,’ it’s because of circumstances beyond their control. Look at a Cubs game as a Greek Tragedy unfolding before your eyes. You come to the coliseum (Wrigley Field) and have psyched yourself up to be emotionally and mentally prepared to be entertained by a Shakespearean event where there are sacrifices and wandering souls, striving to make it back home but left stranded on any island (1st, 2nd or 3rd), with loneliness and starvation their only future.
“Sure, other teams have the same terminology applied to them, but in the Cubs’ case it’s as real as it could ever get. So maybe Smith was ‘left on Second’ at the end of the 1st inning. Well, a Cub fan, when Smith come up to bat during the 7th, well, we remember the other team leaving him on 2nd, so we want revenge, but an honest revenge, like a home run.
“The ‘not-win’ part is that they gave it their best shot, that’s all. It’s all any of us can do. So we didn’t ‘not-win;’ so what? It’s not as if we watched the gun fight at the O.K. Corral or anything. Nobody actually was ‘sacrificed;’ nobody died. They went out and fought, and we stood behind them, all the way, through every ‘not-win.’
“And once you understand the mystique, the amazing uniqueness of what it takes to be a Cub fan, you’ll always and forever be a Cub fan.
“Remember Hillary saying she was a Cub fan and then became a New York fan? Well, sorry to say, that’s an IMPOSSIBILITY, is what that is. A Cub fan doesn’t change to another team; they can’t. Once a Cub fan, always a Cub, and if anyone ever says any different, they lied.
“Hillary lied, pure and simple. Let me put it to you in different terms. If a person took the Oath, swearing to defend the Constitution, it is an IMPOSSIBILITY for them to support Obama. A real Cub fan and an Oath-taker are cut from the same cloth: Forever Faithful.
“You asked, so I told you. Look, enjoyed the conversation, thanks for the coffee, but gotta skedaddle.”
Roving Reporter: “Well, that was an enlightening answer. This is Roving Reporter signing off, saying stay safe by being armed and supporting the 2nd Amendment. Goodnight.”