by OPOVV, ©2014

Are the members of this august body hiding under a rock when it comes to the truth?

(Apr. 2, 2014) — Dear Reader:

Thank you for requesting the “WASHINGTON TRUTH TOURS: THE ROCK” brochure. Since January 20, 2009, we’ve had thousands of satisfied customers who have been so pleased with our educational curriculum that we incorporated the Customer Service Department with that of Bus Driver/Tour Guide Department since there has never been a complaint, to date.

The overview is that we deliver tourists to the rock that the vast majority of our politicians, bureaucrats, members of the Administration, Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the majority of Pentagon employees crawl out from under every work day. Unfortunately, filming these creatures crawling on their hands and knees from under “THE ROCK” has been forbidden by the Supreme Court’s ruling that “It’s a violation of the privacy issue; after all, it’s where we also live.”

The following are just some of the comments made by our 100% satisfied customers:

Lela: “I recommend this tour for every voter in our country. I had a wonderful time, although had I known I could’ve brought my own rotten vegetables to throw at these sleaze-balls.”

Robert: “What surprised me was how many crawled out from under ‘THE ROCK.’ I was expecting the ‘usual suspects’, but what we saw were thousands. This tour really opened my eyes.”

Cheryl: “This was very educational and I’m glad I went. I thought the rotten vegetable stand overcharged, but other than that I had a really good time. It was refreshing to see the Vietnam Vets throw rotten tomatoes at Senator ‘Sell-my-country-short-amnesty’ McCain.”

You will be required to sign a “Secrecy Document” not to disclose the location of “THE ROCK.”

You will be required to turn in all cameras, cell phones and recording devices to the bus driver to be returned at the end of the tour.

Tips are accepted.

Again, thank you for inquiring about the tour. We hope you sign up and have a good time. Unfortunately, due to high demand, you must book your tour three months in advance. You may trade times, and you will find further information on our website.

Again, Thank You,

The Management