AND ITS AFTERMATH
by OPOVV, ©2013
(Nov. 12, 2013) — A small twin-engine commuter plane with a load of 11 souls is about to go down somewhere in the mountains in Utah. The plane left its last fuel stop just ahead of a strong front approaching. Two elderly passengers opted out and are now relaxing in a hot tub watching the weather report.
The curtain rises to the sound of sputtering engines.
In the rear, stage right, are the retirees in the hot tub on a raised platform.
The rest of the cast is sitting in two rows of folding chairs parallel to the audience. Pilots are in the first row, left.
“Houston, we’ve a slight problem here.”
“Oh, that’s ripe. If we survive the crash, remind me to have an in-depth conversation with you about the history and the meaning of the word ‘slight.’”
“Eh, roger that, Captain. Wilco Rodger that.”
“This is your Captain speaking. We seem to have a slight mechanical problem and we’ll have to make an unscheduled landing very soon so, eh, good luck and thank you for flying with us today.”
The sputtering engine sound increases, then all is quiet.
Chairs are now at a 15-degree tilt to the left.
The passengers suddenly become animated and start clapping.
“That was the smoothest landing in history! How’d you do it?”
“Well, you see, we landed on the side of a snow-covered mountain. Just kind-of settled in, as it were.”
“What do we do now? I’m calling for a cab.”
There are no roads.”
“Then I’m calling for the fire/rescue people.”
“There are no roads AND there’s no flying done until after this storm system passes.”
“Well, I can’t just sit here. I’ve appointments to keep.”
“Lady, we ALL have appointments to keep.”
“Don’t you dare speak to me with that tone. You’re just a pilot, no better than a cab driver, just moving people from one point to another. Why, I bet you’re ex-military, which probably makes you a Republican. No wonder why my President treats you people as terrorists.”
Groaning noses are heard, and the plane shifts a little. The chairs are now facing the audience at a 45-degree angle.
“Attention. This is your Captain speaking. I want each of you to slowly exit the plane. Bundle up and please, don’t make any sudden moves.”
“Well, I’m not leaving. I paid my money and I expect to be delivered.”
Everyone calmly and carefully exits the plane, standing to the left of the audience; everyone, that is, except the obnoxious lady who is looking into her compact, preening herself. An extra-loud groan is heard, the stage lights go out, and then come back on.
The stage is bare, except for the couple in the hot tub watching the weather report.
The rest of the cast exits the auditorium as the curtain is lowered.
[Food for thought on how to treat people.]
OPOVV