“REAL-WORLD STUFF”
by OPOVV, ©2013
(Oct. 2, 2013) — My first foray into the world of “growing old” was the dissatisfaction of my haircuts. I couldn’t understand it: time after time I was getting lousy haircuts when I was always satisfied previously. After a couple of years of not being a happy camper, I came to the conclusion that I finally hadthe proof that I was looking for: that there was, indeed, a conspiracy against me. I don’t know exactly what they wanted out of me; I mean, who am I to have anything of even the most miniscule import except, just maybe, entertainment value, like watching an animal in a maze, for instance.
Wait a minute here. Before you dismiss this as a recent revelation, let me say one thing in my defense. When I got out of the military, some 40 years ago, I had the exact same feeling: they were watching me, no doubt to gauge my reaction to a colloquial phrase that I had never heard before, or a song on the radio.
But that’s the same with all people who’ve been away awhile, for whatever reason. There’s a period of readjustment.
And the thing with the haircuts? I was just slowly losing my hair; that’s all it was. The paranoid attitude of the imagined “they”? I think that was just a natural reaction of being “out of the loop,” out of the country, out of communication with my fellow citizens for an extended period, that’s all.
And I never did figure out who “they” were.
But here’s one for you: When little, I liked my peanut butter smooth. When in my middle years, crunchy was my choice. And now that I’m older, I’m back to smooth.
A vast majority of Americans are going to spend money on Christmas presents, and that’s a good thing, to spread good tidings and cheer throughout our land. Some of us will buy junk, really unwanted items that have no intrinsic value except as a meager excuse to give something, even if it’s worthless.
We can all do better than to buy wanted items over needed items. We’re not talking baby or little kid stuff, okay? We’re discussing real-world stuff. Okay, what, pray tell, is real-world stuff? With age comes, hopefully, wisdom. To this day I still have the hunting knife that my father gave to me on my 12th birthday.
Presents that should be given to anyone who is a teenager or older should be extracted from one theme and one theme only: SURVIVAL. All of us should be armed. I have a friend who bought a crossbow at a pawn shop and his whole family is having the time of their lives with it.
I remember my last Christmas with my parents. I even remember my gifts, and one of my packages to open, shiny bright paper, was a package of socks. Knock-knock: childhood is over, welcome to the real world.
Besides a gift of a rifle or shotgun, there’s always ammo (or arrows), knives, camping stoves, flashlights, packages of MRE’s. Tents, tarps, cases of fresh water, the list is endless: binoculars, sleeping bags, parkas, gloves, snow chains for the vehicle, handsaw, hatchet, axe, and so on.
An office gift? How about a box of waterproof matches, or a portable radio? You get the point: give a gift that has meaning and thought behind it. Believe me, your gift will be doubly appreciated. Here’s wisdom: don’t squander the opportunity to do what’s good and right.
[NOTE: Order your outdoor camping supply catalogs now before the big rush.]
OPOVV