by Henry, ©2025
(Nov. 30, 2025) — “Whatever Lola Wants” (4:05)
The audience is seated, the house lights dim and a lone spotlight shines on the first balcony on the right where an actor dressed as a chef – white coat, chef’s tall hat – waves his extended arm over the audience.
“I survived; therefore I am a survivor. I survived the chaos of competing thoughts in the assembly line – kitchen – of information. My meal – thoughts – are pure with no artificial ingredients – Fake News – added. I am TDS-free. Hark, all of thee, hark until the last cow comes home. Allow your ear to bend to what we provide: the truth.”
As the curtain rises the spotlight goes out. The stage is set as the bridge of a United States Navy destroyer. It is dark and the stage is bathed in red light.
“Captain on the bridge!”
“Captain, calm seas, negligible swell, one radar contact port side couple of miles. We don’t know what it is, sir.”
“You don’t know what it is; interesting. Do you know what it is not?”
“We know it’s neither a surfaced sub nor a carrier, sir.”
“Could it be a Russian trawler, one of their spy ships? Maybe it’s a tuna boat. Could it be a cruise ship?”
“Sir, we just identified it. It’s a Greenpeace vessel and Tucker Carlson is on board.”
“You mean Tucker Carlson the RINO, the turncoat, the Jew-hater?”
“Yes, sir, that’s the one.”
“Then would you classify the ship as either a ‘friendly’ or a ‘hostile?’”
“Hostile, sir, for sure.”
“And why would you reach that conclusion, Lieutenant?”
“Because some on board have TDS.”
“Very well; you did good, Lieutenant. Sound General Quarters, if you would.”
“What are we going to do, sir?”
“I think we’ll just have to sink, her, Lieutenant. Have the radio room jam her signals and give them a warning to abandon ship. Make sure all are off and then use the 5” to sink her.”
“Aye-aye, sir. How many ‘Weretrumps’ (pronounced ‘Where -Trumps) do you think are on that ship, sir?”
“What’s a, what did you say, a ‘Weretrump?’”
“Sir, a ‘Weretrump’ is someone who got infected with TDS, Trump Derangement Syndrome, just as a real Werewolf infects its prey: you get bit, you become one of them. I think sinking that ship is a good call, Captain, but save Carlson; he could just come around.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant.”
The curtain lowers as the house lights brighten.
FINI
“Six Days on the Road” (3:06)