“The Cookie Jar,” a Play by Henry (RR)

by Henry, ©2025

(Jul. 26, 2025) — Act I

As the house lights dim, the curtain rises to the music of “Le Tic-Toc-Choc ou Les Maillotins” (2:27) to a stage set as a Japanese Tea House. The Can-Can lady frogs are wearing Japanese kimonos. Hanging Japanese lanterns provide a soft glow. As the music ends, a man frog enters stage right in full-fledged samurai attire. The lady frogs, who are standing in front of the Tea House, bow.

First Lady Frog: “Welcome to tranquil dwelling of no extradition.”

Samurai: “Glad I made it. It is good not to worry about Tulsi Gabbard reading my name for an indictment.”

Second Lady Frog: “No need to worry now; all bases covered. You feel safe.”

Third Lady Frog: “Safe good. No worry from Tulsi or Hillary. We know you not spill beans so safe. Too bad you know about beans but not worry. We won’t tell Hillary where you are.”

Samurai: “Thank you. No idea how good feel safe.”

Fourth Lady Frog: “Not safe yet. Must come inside pleasant Tea House. You have bag?”

Samurai: “Just ten, and this attaché case.”

Fourth Lady Frog: “Most welcome. Hop this way, please. What in attaché case?”

Samurai: “My ace-in-the-hole, in case I have to make a plea deal.”

Fourth Lady Frog: “Beans.”

Samurai: “Yes, beans.”

The curtain lowers to the music of “Rondeau Harp #1” (0:58) as the house lights brighten and then dim.

Act II

The curtain rises to the stage set as the interior of the Tea House. Samurai is sitting cross-legged, center stage, under a spotlight from the balcony, wide angle; the Can-Can Lady Frogs are kneeling to the left. A large screen TV is to the far right.

TV Personality: “Latest news about the despicable liars and cheats of Barry Soetoro’s administration – that would be Obama’s – are either in hiding or trying to make some sort of deal with the DOJ to avoid prison. Besides Obama, John Brennan, James Clapper, James Comey, and Hillary Clinton, the all-points bulletin is to find the Samurai who, we believe, is in hiding, most likely in a Tea House situated in the northern woods of California.”

First Lady Frog: “You Number One Most Wanted List. You very famous. Care for cookie? Third Lady frog make especially for special occasion, Number One and all.”

Samurai: “Thank you, Third Lady Frog, for making cookies for momentous happening, although maybe not good being on the Most Wanted List.”

All Lady Frogs, in unison: “Too bad they looking for you, most dishonorable Samurai. Your name all over. We think suitcases also carry beans.”

Samurai: “And I was taking home a nice paycheck, but I got greedy and forgot about all those markers in the Arlington National Cemetery. So sad. Suitcases all full of money, all ‘Benjamins’; millions. If you continue to hide me, I give you some.”

All Lady Frogs: “So sorry, no take ‘tainted’ Bens.”

Fourth Lady Frog: “You should be ashamed of yourself, most dishonorable Samurai. Why, look at all those bums: Brennan, Clapper, Comey and Hillary, still trying to spin false narratives, and the Dem voters still can’t see the trees for the forest, or is it the forest for the trees? All going to prison, we hope, yes?”

First Lady Frog: “English very hard. You have ‘h-i-g-h’ and then have ‘H-i.’ Very perplexing. Why so? So sorry, most dishonored Samurai. Not time to talk how crazy American speak. Forgive First Lady Frog.”

Samurai: “No forgiveness necessary, I’m sure. I hear cars coming up the drive.”

Curtain lowers to the sound of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” (1:57) as the house lights dim and then brighten.

Act III

The curtain rises to the Tea House, stage left, and FBI SWAT vans right. The scene is chaos, lady frogs hopping all over the place; Special Agents running to and fro when the First Lady Frog holds up her hand.

First Lady Frog: “Now hold it right there, Mr. FBI. Before you whisk Samurai away, we would at least give him something to remember us by. Ladies?”

The Lady Frogs assemble front center stage. Everyone stops and looks at the dance line.

“Can Can” (2:19)

Samurai: “Thank you, I’m sure.”

At this point the Samurai and Second Lady Frog step forward, center stage, as the spotlight zeroes in on them as they sing.

“Thanks for the Memories” (3:08)

At the conclusion of the song, the FBI escorts the Samurai with attaché case into a SWAT truck and, as it pulls away, the Third Lady Frog hops after it holding a cookie jar.

Third Lady Frog: “Most Dishonorable Samurai, please take cookie jar as gift for you stay and you donation to honorable Tea House.”

Samurai reaches out and grabs the jar as the curtain lowers and house lights brighten to the music of “Sayonara (sax cover)” (2:36) as the FBI SWAT van exits stage right.

FINI