Harvard is Now a Verb

by Thomas Reiner, ©2023

(Dec. 20, 2023) — Harvard has successfully managed to transform itself into a verb.  Metamorphosis is never easy, but congratulations, dude.  In Oldspeak, Harvard was simply a noun basically signifying a cool university in Cambridge, MA but not the other really cool but stuffier Cambridge in England.  In Newspeak, Harvard is now a Thought Moat^TM academic fortress teaching their student-loan-avoiding clientele that it is more important to be Stupid Woke^TM rather than educated.  This change should not be surprising when a 2022 Crimson survey found over 80% of faculty were Liberal and less than 2% identified as Conservative.  With the growing anti-Semitism in the Poison Ivy League, HarvardNacht can’t be far away.  Even Harvard’s motto is a misnomer: VeRiTas, which is Latin for “Truth,” but “Mendacium” better describes the falsehood that it has become.

Harvard has moved from being a noun to an action verb.  “Harvarding” means a strict allegiance to shutting down any speech, By Any Means Necessary^TM, that diverges from approved Progressive Left Monothought^TM. Harvarding is characterized by celebrating nascent anti-Semitism out loud and in the open where Jewish students hide in fear in their dorm rooms.  To be Harvardized is to close one’s mind in a way that would have made Mao Tse-Tung’s 1960s Cultural Revolution proud.  Instead of the brave man confronting tanks in Tiananmen Square, our Lilliputian Harvardians confront the line in Starbucks waiting for their $8 Mindbender^TM.  The Harvardized proto-fascist wears his fashionable combo Rainbow Shirt/Kaffiyeh outfit in lieu of the more appropriate and Truthful Brown Shirt.

The Harvard offsite Gaza Hamas campus is reportedly embracing the Harvardized Unintelligentsia and will soon extend an invitation to their world-famous Islamic Rooftop Garden Party^TM, Kaffiyeh optional. Harvardized gays and feminists get first crack at the fun and festivities.

In order to Harvard someone, it is vitally important to be conversant to practice DEI and CRT while embracing the Two Minutes Hate (from Wikipedia: the TMH allows citizens to vent their existential anguish and personal hatred toward politically expedient enemies).  DEI is an alphabet soup that sounds good but is virulently anti-American and should be spelled DIE (Diversity/Inclusion/Equity).  In reality, DIE is BEF (Bias/Exclusion/Favoritism), the hallmark of Marxist philosophy.  CRT is shorthand for Whites are always Evil and Blacks are always Victims.

Harvardization became a reality during the recent Congressional hearings when Harvard President Claudine Gay refused to admit that bleating for Jewish genocide is not Hate Speech except in context.  Huh?  Now we know what Urkel has been doing since “Family Matters.”  President Gay furthered a Harvardized tradition of plagiarism when she stole from Dr. Carol Swain, a Conservative Black Woman.  The DIE checklist of Black, Woman and Whatever saved her bacon and she retains her hate-filled job to uneducate the next generation of Useful Idiots.

A Harvarded graduate is likely to find his options in adult life will be severely limited.  A Harvard résumé coming across a hiring manager’s In-basket will find its way to The Troublemaker Out-Basket. Have a nice life. Don’t be a Harvard, as Harvard has Harvarded itself.