by Cheryl Lacey, DSJ, Thought Starters On Education, ©2023
(Jul. 12, 2023) — [The following is an excerpt from the writer’s upcoming book, “Your Children: Take the Lead on Their Education” to be released July 28 in Melbourne (Australia). – Ed.]
Who will raise my children?
This was my first and only thought at the moment I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At 45, with two daughters, aged 12 and 4, I was more terrified for them than I was for myself.
Somraudee, my eldest, was born in Thailand and was 3 years and 10 months old when I became her mum. Sze Ting, born in Hong Kong, was almost 1 year old when I became her mum, five years later.
How could it be possible, I thought, for it all to be lost so soon?
The diagnosis marked another turning point for me. I finally understood what was driving my view of education, the role of schools and those who worked in them.
At that point, my future was uncertain. One thing, though, was clear: people working in schools, whether directly or indirectly, wouldn’t shout out, ‘My duty of care extends to raising your children if anything should happen to you’. And neither should they.
Schools aren’t homes. Those who work in schools aren’t parents to your children. Raising children isn’t done through a ‘partnership’ between your home and your children’s school or between you and your children’s teachers. Instead, you have a ‘relationship’ with the school and the teachers.
You might be wondering about the difference between the two.
Essentially, I do not believe that everyone involved with your children has equal responsibility for them – and that’s as it should be. In my view, it’s not a question of ‘partnership’.
There is, however, an ever-evolving ebb and flow of people, knowledge and beliefs that have many and varied relationships with, and influence on, you and your children.
And it’s the nature of this relationship we need to qualify.
Parents are responsible for raising children and raising them in their own way. My view has remained constant: I’ve raised my girls on my terms and on behalf of their biological parents.
Schools provide education services. But there is a tremendous difference between respectful appreciation of those services and unconditional trust in them.
Respectful appreciation of the role of a teacher and the role of a parent has always been an intrinsic compass for me. This is probably because, as a child, I always knew what I wanted to be – a mum and a teacher…