by Professor Wert, ©2022
(Sep. 26, 2022) — So you’re thinking about escaping the crazy house, or maybe you made it out and don’t know how to act with ‘normal folk.’ Here’s a bit of advice: don’t tailgate.
First of all, no more ‘Dudes’ and no more kneeling during the Nation Anthem. No more stupid ‘birthing persons’ and no more ‘green anything.’ The word ‘sustainability’ is not used unless you’re a die-hard ‘refuse to see the facts as they are’-type person.
No more watching ‘The View’; you’re among citizens who have the ability to reason, unlike the governor who once ruled over you.
More advice: don’t sit at a green light and make the left turn only as it turns yellow.
Here’s a virtually impossible task: find a halfway honest real estate agent and pay only 10% less (or lower) than asking price.
Start believing that the ‘Department of Homeland Security’ is synonymous with the Deep State’s GESTAPO, as are the DOJ and the FBI and, if de-funded, will be good for us all.
Rearrange your mind to believe that the Republicans and the Democrats are one and the same animal; the animal that you want to befriend is called the CONSTITUTION, or the MAGA Party.
Remove your ‘COEXIST’ rear window sticker from your SUV and refrain from honking your horn while sitting at a red light.
Proper cart behavior while at the grocery store does NOT include hitting other carts; get used to using the phrase ‘Excuse me,’ which is also advice for New Yorkers.
And last of all, be thankful that you had someplace to escape to. Whatever you do, don’t vote the same way you did in California and end up with another Socialism-lovin’ Newsom character who doesn’t have a clue about anything.
Get used to telling the truth by using such slogans as ‘Let’s go Brandon!’
And remember: DO NOT TAILGATE.