by Roving Reporter, ©2022
(Aug. 11, 2022) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. The FBI raid on Mar-a-Largo the other day was either the beginning of the end for the Republic of the United States of America or the beginning of the end for the Deep State and the Democratic Party. Last night, in the wee hours of the morning, I was awakened by a phone call with some rather startling information, if true. I asked for permission to record the conversation, which was granted. So, here it is:
Phone rings and rings again.
“Hello? It’s like the middle of the night; this better be good.”
“Trust me, it is.”
“Mind if I record this?”
“Go ahead.”
“Okay, I’m half awake and the little red light is ‘ON.’”
“Good. I have direct information about that raid on Trump. My wife’s cousin has a daughter who went to Stetson University and got her degree in ‘Jurisprudence’ and after she graduated worked at a law firm in Baltimore.”
“Will this take long? Should I start the coffeemaker?”
“It may. Getting back to Baltimore: she dated an FBI agent for over a year and got to be friends with his good friends.”
“Friends.”
“They all went to prep schools that were in the same conference, and all graduated from Ivy League schools.”
“Gee-whiz, will you ever get to the point?”
“Hold on; be patient, it’ll be worth it.”
“So, everyone knows how to read and write; what of it?”
“So ‘what of it’ is that the big thrill in boys’ prep schools is to raid girls’ dormitories to capture certain undergarments, reminiscent of American Indians conducting coup raids, but the Indians would come back with horses while our future FBI agents would come back with ‘horse substitutes.’”
“’Horse substitutes?’”
“Yes, but getting back to the story: these FBI agents came up with the ultimate ‘women’s lingerie raid’ of all time, is what the raid on Mar-a-Lago was all about.”
“So you’re saying that all this speculation on illegal FBI, DOJ and IRS irregularities is all a smokescreen for a ‘silk coup’; is that what you’re saying? Are you serious? Are we to infer anything from ‘nine and a half hours?’ Did the agents play dress-up? Pole dance?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Well, you know what they say: truth is stranger than fiction. Thanks for the call; appreciate it.”
“Well, you heard it; draw your own conclusions. Goodnight.”