by Roving Reporter, ©2022
(May 4, 2022) — [The following editorial is the truth about those who support Roe vs. Wade. Read with caution. This is a MAGA enterprise.]
“All My Rowdy Friends (Have Settled Down)” (3:58)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We’re back in our old stomping grounds and I’ve a funny feeling that the strange looks we’re getting is that most of them want to stomp us, meaning Yours Truly and the crew (cameraman and sound-boom girl). Let’s see what’s going on by waylaying this young man. Excuse me, excuse me, please.”
“Say what?”
“Excuse me, please, Roving here for ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“What’s this ‘please’ bull; you dissin’ me?”
“No disrespect intended, of this I assure you.”
“You talkin’ jive, Mister. I don’t understand a word you’re saying. And what’s this ‘please’ business; you a cop? Don’t be lyin’ to me now.”
“No, we’re not cops. We’re just doing our job, interviewing people out-of-the-blue, is all.”
“Then why pick on me? I ain’t done nothin’.”
“Look, there’s no pickin’; you just happened to be here at this time.”
“So, you’re doin’ a ‘drive-by’? Well (deleted), man, now you’re talking my lingo. Give me five. No, not your hand, money. Give me five bucks. Time is money, so if you want to talk to me you gotta pay up front, in cash.”
“No shakedown today and not sorry about it. Let me ask you a question: what’s the easiest way to steal a few million dollars without getting caught?”
“That’s easy: rob a bank and kill everyone you see.”
“What about surveillance cameras?”
“Shoot them, what you talkin’ about?”
“I’m talking about stealing millions in plain view and you get away with it; no jail and no lawyers.”
“No judge or jury?”
“None in sight. And here’s the kicker: everyone knows about it, too. They know that your paycheck is a couple of hundred thousand a year but when you retire, you’re worth $20, $30, maybe $50 million. Real money and the taxes have been paid, and legal like.”
“You’re puttin’ me on.”
“No, I’m not. For real, too.”
“I give up.”
“Become the mayor of this big city, or a politician like Pocahontas and Pelosi, or a turncoat like Chuck Schumer, or a lying rat like Biden.”
“You mean President Biden? He a crook?”
“Yes, he’s a crook; his whole family are crooks.”
“No way.”
“Don’t you watch the news?”
“What news? It’s all the same to me, man.”
“What do you think of Trump?”
“You mean ‘Orange Man.’ He a billionaire and we don’t like rich peoples.”
“You just tried to shake me down for $5.”
“I ain’t no billionaire.”
“Neither am I, but that’s not the point. The point is that you wanted money. Trump earned his money the honest way: he provided goods and services and paid the tax owed, up front. Biden and Barry Soetoro…”
“Who’s this ‘Barry’ guy?”
“Obama.”
“Then why didn’t you say so?”
“Because he’s a fake, your ‘Obama,’ that’s why. Pelosi and some others said he was legit when he wasn’t, and he became a de facto president and ushered in the Deep State, not to mention the millions of Muslims he allowed to invade our country. Expose him, your ‘Obama,’ for the fraud he is and the whole rotten house of cards will come tumbling down. Think of it: the FBI, CIA and all the other alphabet-soup Deep State operatives will be exposed for the traitors they are and, consequently, face prison terms. Now, if it were up to me, I’d line ‘em against the wall.”
“You just talkin’ crazy talk, is all you’re doin’. I’m out of here. Watch me split.”
“You ever go to school, I mean high school? When was the last time you read a book, cover to cover?”
“I don’t have time for this.”
“You want an eye-opener? Nobody, no matter how rich they may be, can buy time. Don’t waste it: read a book.”
“You callin’ me ignorant?”
“You envy people who have stuff that you don’t, but you don’t want to work for it, do you? You blame others for your failures in life, like you get your girlfriend pregnant because you’re both too stupid to read the birth control instructions, so she gets an abortion. You have contempt for your ‘Orange Man’ because you’ve been lied to and don’t even know it. Split now and listen to your mayor who oversees the murder capital of the world, a sanctuary city that is more dangerous by the day. Go along, now, be a good Dem and remain ignorant of the truth that you’ve been used, are being used and will continue to be used as a pawn of the Deep State. Orange man gave you opportunity zones; all Biden does is take. Get out of here, we don’t need you and we sure as heck don’t want anyone who won’t take the time or make the effort to learn the truth, which, as of late, has been in short supply since last November 8.”
“I’m leavin’.”
“And so are we: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Lookin’ for Love” (3:40)
Roving Reporter