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by Roving Reporter, ©2021 

(Dec. 22, 2021) — “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas” (2:43)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We here at ‘Pulse’ have a number of reporters scattered throughout our country, from Madam Shylock down in Cassadaga, FL, to Chief New Leaf on the road in his scrumptious RV and others in between, although we very seldom report from New York or Chicago. Chicago is where we once had a real studio but were burned out, we suspect, by order of the mentally handicapped mayor. Be that as it may, here I am, back under the awning on our old stomping grounds, across the street from the railroad depot about to waylay the few who are commuting to the big city. Oh, look, here comes one now. Excuse me, Miss, Roving here for ‘Pulse,’ the most watched information show in its time slot. Care to answer a few questions? Won’t take long. What’s your name and your pet peeve of the day?”

“You have got to be kidding. How about I’m over-peeved, sick and tired of being peeved. Why, I’ve been peeved since November 4th when I woke to find that nitwit-brain-dead-Chinese-patsy ‘Let’s go Brandon’ was going to be in the White House. Biden-Harris, a real comedy team, and that Judas, Mike Pence, the biggest backstabber since the original Judas, did us all in, Dems and thinking people alike.”

“So you voted for Trump?”

“Who didn’t? I don’t know one person who voted for Socialism, do you? It was like McCain winning the Florida primary; nobody believes that. People just aren’t that stupid.”

“You haven’t told us your name?”

“You’re right, I haven’t. Let the FBI clowns work for their money for once.”

“You seem to have a somewhat dire view of our government.”

“Look, I’ll tell you the truth, because you sure as heck won’t hear it from Fake News. Think about it: if you run an election with the same people and the same machines, what do you think is going to happen? Give me a break.”

“So you lost faith in our justice system?”

“I’ll believe in America when Hillary is behind bars, only then. If I would have had a private server and smashed my phones and bleached my computers, I would be talking to you from jail. Why isn’t she?”

“I don’t know; what do you think?”

New York Gov. Kathy Hochul was sworn in on August 24 after Gov. Andrew Cuomo resigned (Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0)

“I think our country is a joke, just like the rest of the world thinks. We have some pretty loony governors, Newsom of California, Whitmer of Michigan and Hochul of New York who would be welcomed with open arms in Hitler’s inner party.”

“That bad.”

“That bad. Think concentration camps and then use your imagination and go from there.”

“Exterminate the unvaxxed?”

“With glee; with a smile; with papers and a court order, all nice and legal-like. Just like the NAZIs did it: what goes around comes around.”

“What’s the solution?”

“Where is my right hand?”

“Why, your right hand is in your purse.”

“Look (pulls out a lightweight .38 Magnum revolver). I’m not going down alone; nobody is going to Jab me. Look, nice to have had this talk but I’ve got to run to my job next town over. I haven’t been to the city in over a year. Bye.”

“And off she goes and I think we’re also leaving. Did you see that? It’s the second time that cop car drove by and he’s making a U-turn. We’re out of here: Goodnight.

“Good show; step on it. Burger time: my treat.”

[Little People report: we’ll let you know.]


Roving Reporter

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  1. Trump belongs in purgatory jail until he can come clean (no bs) on his justification to ramrod, and then later brag about, an experimental gene-altering serum that uses US citizens as guinea pigs.