by Roving Reporter, ©2021
(Jun. 28, 2021) — “Be Bop A Lula” (2:36)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ he place to hear it here first. I’m standing in front of a café somewhere in Maryland about to waylay this young lady. Excuse me, Roving for ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“Never heard of you, unless you’re the one who we used to get on satellite years ago.”
“The very same one, I’m afraid.”
“What happened?”
“Basically people didn’t want to hear the truth.”
“And the real reason?”
“It was a question of money: our expenses were greater than our revenue.”
“You couldn’t keep advertisers.”
“It was go to radio or go broke.”
“So now what?”
“So now I ask you questions and you answer honestly; tell us the truth on what you think of the world.”
“The world is just as dangerous as it was last year or a thousand years ago; the difference between then and now is one of numbers. Let’s say years ago you had 20% crazies running around loose: today you have 80%, plus the fact that there weren’t ICBM’s lurking under the ocean, in silos or on trailers.”
“What happened?”
“You want to know what the difference is between then and now? Besides the dumbing-down factor, which has risen from a nominal 87 to 613, believe it or not.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“It’s true; you can look it up.”
“Are you making a joke?”
“Sometimes being absurd is funny.”
“Maybe. What do you think of the paratroopers in town?”
“I wondered about that. I see that they have a lot of little sailboats.”
“Lady, see that flyer stapled to the telephone pole? It says, in big letters: ‘DO NOT MENTION THE SAILBOATS.’ You just might as well have spilled the beans.”
“Oh. Did I spoil the surprise party of something?”
“Something, but let me ask you this: are you going to watch the Olympics?”
“And see those who represent us disrespect our nation? Are you kidding? No way because the Olympics just went the way of the NFL and women’s soccer: right down the tubes.”
“Was that a pun?”
“It might have been.”
“So what’s your advice to the advertisers of our country?”
“Don’t waste one red cent buying time to advertise your goods on a station carrying the Olympics because nobody will be watching.”
“Nobody?”
“Maybe a Dem-Obot; believers in the Welfare State; BLM; George Floyd being anything other that a two-time loser who was going to die at an early age the way he lived his life, holding a loaded gun against a pregnant woman’s stomach; Affirmative Action; and other equally stupid people such as Maxine Waters, Nancy Pelosi and Rashida Tlaib, women who we would not ascribe our daughters to ascend to.”
“Well-put. Anything to add?”
“Nothing except the obvious.”
“Which is?”
“Even if Trump gets back in the White House this August, or whenever, if we don’t actually physically remove each and every illegal immigrant (which includes DACA and anchor babies) and each and every Muslim, and deport each and every ‘college student’ from China and other enemy States, then all of our efforts to save our Republic will have been in vain.”
“Well-said, and with that we’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Join us for a burger: my treat.”
[Little People update: The paratroopers have packed it up and moved to Mud Millpond, Delaware. A well-known mosquito repellent company hired them to test their new product that is 100% human- and bird-safe. Apparently this new repellent makes the mosquitoes zero in on people who go through life with certain identifiable brain waves that stupid and gullible people have in common, such as, well, you can figure it out. The paratroopers will secretly administer this new repellent to a group of people without their knowledge and then release 10,000 mosquitoes and record what happens on film. It sounds rather exciting, and I think a Congress building would be a desirable test site, but we’ll see. Will keep you informed.]
“Thank You Lord” (3:55)
Roving Reporter (RR)