by Roving Reporter (RR), ©2021

(Jun. 16, 2021) — “Tonight’s the Night” (2:00)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. As I’m sure you’re all aware, Professor Zorkophsky just hit another one out of the ballpark with his latest bestseller, ‘Levels of Derangement: Where are You?.’ Welcome to the show, Professor Zorkophsky, the most popular in its time slot.”

“Glad to be here, Roving, but please call me ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere. And thank you for such a positive and informative introduction: you make me feel at home.”

“Good and, by the way, thanks for covering for me while I got my act together.”

“Do you think you have your ‘act’ together now?”

“Truthfully? No, I don’t and I don’t think I ever will. The best I can manage is to maintain my hold, or my ‘time-out’ before the day when I say what I’m really thinking.”

“It’s not good to hold back. What do you say we start to hawk my new book?”

“Let’s. So, there’s some sort of hierarchy of derangement?’”

“Sure, just look at Nancy Pelosi and Ilhan Omar, although Omar is on another level than Pelosi.”

“How’s that?”

“Pelosi is just a criminal, while Omar is a traitor to her sex and to humanity at large. Pelosi is so stupid she thinks Omar is on her side, while Omar never had an original thought in her whole life but her ‘side’ is the total destruction of Western Civilization.”

“So tell us about this ‘hierarchy of derangement’. Where does one start, or maybe I should say does a person go from one stage to another?”

“Usually when a person enters the derangement phase of life it is at a certain level, like crying because Hillary lost. Now a person can have multiple derangement phases, like the aforementioned crying, and then they can add ‘Trump Derangement’ and even ‘Election Fraud Denial/I Love the CCP Derangement,’ which would make three separate derangements, and we call that ‘Derangement Overload.’”

“Do those afflicted with ‘Derangement Overload’ display any symptoms we should be aware of?”

“Well, yes. For instance, they’ll refer to Joe Biden as ‘The President’; Kamala Harris as ‘capable’ and say, out loud, that the Fake News is ‘trustworthy.’”

“Would such people admit that they watch ‘The View’ and ‘Rachel Maddow’? I mean, have they no shame?”

“None whatsoever. They are without shame, common sense or a sense of history, specifically the history of our military dying for our Constitution.”

“Now why is that? Oh, excuse me, we’ve got to take a short break. Be right back.”

Pieces of April” (4:06)

“Okay, we’re back: back to the question about why some of our citizens are completely without shame, like the BLM and ANTIFA fools?”

“Good question, because that’s ‘Derangement: Level I: Denial of Facts.’ You see, yesterday or World War II has no meaning for such narrow-minded people. Narrow-minded people don’t pause when they see rows upon rows of white markers at a Veteran cemetery; they don’t respect the flag or our National Anthem; and they don’t respect an election being honest, or not.”

“Do you have like a graph or list of all the levels of derangement levels in your book?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. And to top it off, if you buy the book you also are entitled to a poster-size graph to keep track of any personal derangements.”

“Hypothetically speaking, let’s say someone is presented with irrefutable evidence that there was election fraud, like maybe a truck driver delivers hundreds of thousand of ballots from New York to Pennsylvania, or ballots snuck-out from under tables in Georgia, or thousands of Californians voting in Nevada, and doesn’t believe the facts, even if it’s all on film: where do they fall on your list.”

“Okay, then, what about those who really believe that Biden won fair and square and Harris should be in a roadside amusement cage where motorists can stop and throw rotten vegetables at her to relieve driving stress, thereby doing her part to make our roads safer?”

“Good idea, but, in Chapter three, I propose that those who are so far gone as to believe that the election wasn’t a fraud be required to wear a day-glow purple shirt with a big pink question mark in the center front and back as their responsibility to let their fellow citizens know they are of the ‘Truly Stupid Sect.’

“Do you think they’ll do it?”

“Ever see a ‘Hillary for President’ bumper-sticker?”

“I see your point.”

“What about a COEXIST’ one?”

“I get it; I get it.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a book-signing to attend; thank you for allowing me to hawk my book.”

“And thank you for writing it and being such an informative guest. And with that, we’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

The Shifting, Whispering Sands” (2:42)

Roving Reporter (RR)

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.