by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021 

(May 24, 2021) — “Follow that Dream” (1:51)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. For years we have called the United Nations the ‘Muslim Admiration Society’; the so-called ‘Muslim migrants’ the ‘Islamic Invasion’; and Islam a ‘Political Entity’ rather than a religion. The West has dumped untold millions of dollars into Arafat’s Army, and had the money been spent wisely, the Middle East could certainly have been a paradise on earth — the envy of the world — instead of the cesspool it is, with Israel as the exception.

“Arafat could have introduced many methods of birth control, clinics, day care centers, hospitals and places of higher education that would’ve, certainly, produced multiple Nobel Prizes in such subjects as physics, chemistry and innovations in the medical field. Instead, all the so-called ‘Palestinians’ got was more teachings of hatred toward the Jews and the West instead of peace; weapons instead of texts; and a perpetual welfare State that has gone nowhere, is going nowhere and, from the looks of things, will never get anywhere as long as they continue on the path of hate and destruction and blaming the Jews for their own failures that they themselves create.

“I think that even the most short-sighted of us have come to realize that the ‘European Union’ was nothing but a ploy to create an easy entry for the invasion of Muslims into peaceful European countries that had their own culture consisting of borders, language, money and customs. Nowadays one is hard-pressed to see the difference in any of them, but it’s easy to equate the Muslims in France with their counterparts in Sweden or, for that matter, Ireland, a Christian nation if there ever was one: Catholic or Protestant, take your pick. Recently Ireland has become overwhelmingly pro-Islam, even to the degree of suggestion kicking out the Ambassador from Israel for perceived slights against who knows what and who knows why.

“Now that we have the introduction out of the way, we’re at the ‘Marsh Creek Reservoir, PA’ area with the Paratroopers to see how they’re getting along. With me is PFC Johanna Buttersplat, a pharmacist back home but here you’re the radio operator of this operation.”

“I’m also the navigator.”

“That makes sense. So, tell us about your radio. Is that it there?”

“That it is, Professor Zorkophsky; it’s small but it works most of the time, plus it doesn’t cost much.”

“Please, you can call me Zork’; I like to set a relaxing atmosphere. Is that what I think it is, a crystal radio set?”

“It is. I like to say a hello to my wife and kids, if I may.”

“No, I’m sorry. It’s the rule of the station, and no waving. We don’t like wavers, or shouters, or touchers, or a busybody. We strive for an ‘even keel’; we avoid those nasty squalls, we do. We don’t like rioting and arson but we do support the notion that every girl should have a double-barrel shotgun whenever possible, or maybe a lightweight .357 Magnum. So, how are things going? Are you on schedule? Any problems?”

“Fine; yes, and no. Things are going fine and we’re all looking forward to confronting the Joint Chiefs of Staff because there’s one question I’d like to ask.”

“And what would that be?”

“Are you working for the CCP or the people of the United States, because it seems to me that you’re not one of us, that’s for sure. Did you hear that they want ALL the troops to get vaccinated? Not me. Oops, that’s the bell for chow, so if you’ll excuse me?”

“Thanks for talking with us. Let’s break for a commercial, shall we?”

Edelweiss” (2:09)

“Okay, we’re back. I’m supposed to give you a little update on what happened to our TV studio back in Atlanta. Long story short, same thing that happened to us in Chicago: we got evicted, in a way. Anyway, what that means is that we’re back on the road so you’ll be hearing from our other contributors** more often than not.

“And now to the present time, the here-and-now. We’ve moved down to the ‘Lionville Park’ to see if we can get anybody to talk to us. Nobody? Here’s some guy on a lawnmower. Excuse me,”

“Hey, you. Leave my men alone.”

“And you are?”

“I’m his boss; who are you?”

“I work for ‘Pulse,’ the award-winning show in its time slot. So you’re the boss?”

“From ‘Pulse,’ eh? Used to watch you, but since those charlatans took over the White House I kind-of lost interest in politics. Besides, he don’t speak English, that guy on the mower.”

“He doesn’t?”

“He’s not a city employee; they contract all the work out, you know. Face it: government employees have a well-deserved reputation for ‘sleeping on the job,’ so they contract just about everything out, like me, a lawn maintenance company.”

“But there’s some government workers who are honest and do the job, right?”

“Of course there are. Firemen and cops are our most important, and the gang at the waterworks and roads, and the library, but heck, there are slackers in every business. I say 10% of bureaucrats are honest and above-board.”

“I guess. So you don’t watch the show anymore?”

“Read you in The P&E; never miss it.”

“Well, thank you.”

“Did you know the local rag, I mean, the local newspaper, is following the advancement of the paratroopers? Wait, I got one in my truck; see here, right on the front page, map and all. See, this line starts somewhere in the Adirondacks and then it reaches Allentown. Look here, a photo of the planes in formation over Northampton a couple of days ago. Must be, what, 20-30 planes?”

“Nice photo.”

“Look, I’ve got to get back to work. Nice to have talked with you.”

“Likewise, I’m sure. Time for another interview? One more commercial? Here goes; be right back.”

Banjo Players Blues” (2:13)

“Excuse me, but do I know you?”

“Hey, it’s the Doc. Long time no see. I was one of your patients back at the university, don’t you remember? You were writing another bestseller about PTSD. You know, you saved me; well, at least you steered me away from all those pills that the VA was pushing.”

“So you’re still alive; didn’t ‘eat the bullet,’ as they say. What did I say that saved you?”

“The part about the brain telling itself that it’s dead, that’s what. You said that the last thought anybody has before they die is that of the brain telling itself that it is dead and lights out. No time for regrets or reminiscing. Well, that got me to thinking that maybe I’ll die on my own terms and not because of absolutely anything else, unless I don’t have any control over it, like getting hit over the head with a meteor or something along those lines; you know, ‘Act of God’ kind of thing, if that makes a lick of sense.”

“I understand perfectly; I really do. But sometimes justice can be self-administered and if that’s the case, just make sure that the jury is honest and fair; that’s all I’m saying, which is, in most cases, highly unlikely.”

“That is probably true, but, anyway, I made it: flushed all the VA pills, each and every one of them, and then I quit the drugs. I never considered a beer or a cigarette a drug until I quit, but I’m really glad I did.”

“So that’s what I did for you? No kidding?”

“Hey, don’t you remember? You wrote the book. Here’s the thing: I listened to you because you’re one of us; I mean, you came back absolutely nuts; you said so yourself. You thought it wasn’t even the same planet, let alone neighborhood or country. So if you could make it back after being so whacked-out, I figure I could do the same and I did. So I thank you.”

“You’re welcome. How abut telling us what’s going on?”

“I’ll make it as blunt and plain as I can possibly be: the Department of Homeland Security and the Joint Chiefs of Staff, along with the Supreme Court and the Fake News, are our biggest problems. Throw in the Fed and our goose is cooked, and the only way to un-cook it is to throw the crooks in prison, people like Biden-Harris, Pelosi-Hillary and all of the others; John Brennan comes to mind.”

“Why do you think our country is being unraveled?”

“Simple: our priorities are so skewed as to be unrecognizable, that’s why.”

“Please explain.”

“We overreacted to the Chinese flu but don’t react at all from all the stupidity, is what. We have Morning Joe flying off the wall, along with Rachael Maddow; Hillary not even arrested and a cheat masquerading as the president. You know what? I was never as crazy as any of them who accept the hogwash that the Left spins about BLM and the 1619 Project and everything else about the vote having been counted ‘honestly.’ Look, my blood pressure is spiking so I’m leaving. Nice to have seen you, Zork.”

“And off he goes and off we go. I would like to send a message to all those who are contemplating violence, from the Middle East to Minneapolis, to consider the Golden Rule in your thought process, if that’s at all possible, and if it’s not, make it so. Thank you for watching – or reading –and so, this is Zork, wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Arafat’s Army: PLO.]

[**other contributors: Roving Reporter (RR); Professor Wert; Madam Shylock; OPOVV and others.]

Reminiscing” (4:17)

Professor “Trash the masks” Zorkophsky

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