by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2021
(Jan. 25, 2021) — “Oh Henry” (3:39)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Actually, since we lost our TV station and the radio studio, the only place to read our program is in The P&E. It is indeed a sad day when people start to dissect our Constitution and blame what they consider the errors and failures of ‘privileged old white men.’ Shows you how much they know, or should I say it shows how ‘little they know’? It takes a lot of guts to voluntarily put a price on one’s head. Besides, our Founding Fathers were married and if anyone thinks that the wives didn’t have any input in writing our Constitution, then they don’t know what married life is all about. Besides, the so-called ‘old white men’ were adults in the prime of their lives and not ‘old men.’
“Roving – bless his heart – is on another sabbatical, but this time he’s calling it a ‘medical sabbatical,’ so he asked me – as a favor — to ‘take the reins’ once again. With us today is retired FBI agent Mark Clark who is going to share his two-cents’-worth of wisdom.”
“Thank you for the invite to be on The P&E blog. Let me say one thing: I was never so glad to have a door close behind me as when I left. The scum that’s been my bosses made me regret ever having joined the Deep State in the beginning. I should have gone into private practice and represented felons; that’s where the money is, representing insider-trading culprits.”
“But other than that, how was it?”
“The day that the usurper, Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, came on the scene things went from investigating real crime to investigating Democratic imaginary crime, such as Russian Collusion that the gullible and the stupid still believe in.”
“But that’s been debunked.”
“No it hasn’t; besides, you can’t say ‘debunked’: only stupid people are allowed to speak stupidly, like Biden, for instance; and William Barr, the idiot who didn’t see any voter fraud.”
“Yes, that’s quite telling, isn’t it? Why do you think that is?”
“The truth? Okay, you asked for it. Think about it: if Barr admitted to voter fraud then maybe, just maybe, mind you, he would have to do something.”
“You mean like ‘work?’”
“That’s it. Imagine what this country would be like if government employees worked for the people rather than themselves? Imagine contracts being given to private highway and bridge maintenance, airport maintenance. Imagine if the DMV were privatized and offered driving tests 24-7, including Christmas and New Year’s?”
“I’m sorry, I just can’t bring myself to imagine such a scenario.”
“Imagine the police taking an Oath to the Constitution and following it?”
“You mean not stand around and let Baltimore, Seattle, Atlanta, Milwaukee, Chicago, New York, Minneapolis, Nashville, and Portland burn?”
“That’s right. And put a bounty on arresting illegal immigrants: a thousand for every illegal turned over to ICE, no questions asked.”
“So you were glad to leave.”
“In the world of understatements, you just received a Gold Star.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. Before I retired, I wrote a paper that I asked to be sent to every nook and cranny, but they said no way. At this time, and I’d like to share that thought with your readers.”
“By all means, go ahead.”
“I’ll make it short. Boys will be boys and there’s nothing we can do about it. We offer birth control methods yet the number of abortions is through the roof. Since the beginning of time, two young men on horses would, eventually, race. It’s human nature. Fast forward to today and we have street racers, from stock VW Beetles to thousand-horsepower street racers.”
“Yes, we’ve all heard about terrible crashes and innocent people getting killed. What did you propose?”
“I proposed that every community set aside a piece of property where young men can race their cars without endangering anyone but themselves, like maybe block off a strip of road from 6:00 to 10:00 every night. The point is quite obvious: kids are going to race whether we make laws prohibiting racing or not. The question is, do we suffer the consequences or deal with the reality in a responsible manner? Saying that street racing is against the law doesn’t cut it, never has and, I dare say, never will.”
“See, an idea like that has merit, but, really, now, what are the chances of anything like that ever being implemented?”
“None whatsoever. If the politicians can’t figure out how to skim money out of it, forget it.”
“Now ain’t that the truth?”
“Same with schools: the teachers’ union is against Charter Schools*, right? So the union contributes to the politicians who support their stand on protecting teachers who can’t, or won’t, teach. Besides, the dumber the voters are, the more successful the Democratic Socialist Party of the United States is.”
“Now ain’t that the truth?”
“It surely is, and to top it off, all of Washington is going nuts thanks to the obvious and blatant crookedness. Celebration after celebration, from the skimming off the top from the mayor on down to such out-of-town swamp creatures such as Romney and Murkowski.”
“So you’re glad you’re retired?”
“You know, don’t you, that the FBI Director, Christopher Wray, had Hunter Biden’s laptop since December of 2019?”
“Yes, and the rat Wray is still the Director. I guess the swamp is alive and well in Washington, isn’t it?”
“Never faltered for a heartbeat. Trump nominating swamp creatures to investigate other swamp creatures; it was a joke. First Sessions and then Barr. Too bad he didn’t read ‘The Pulse of the Nation’ back then, isn’t it?”
“Now ain’t that the truth? And if we know our government is corrupt beyond belief, then surely our enemies know it, too and will use that knowledge to their benefit and to our disadvantage. And with that we’ll be saying goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time.”
[*Charter Schools: Biden, in his infinite wisdom of keeping Johnny as dumb as humanly possible, said he will not allow Charter Schools or, for that matter, home schooling. Next on his hit list will be Christian schools, mark my words. Wahhabi schools will remain as is.]
“It’s Your Thing” (2:48)
Professor Zorkophsky