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by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2020

Photo: Alexas_Fotos, Pixabay, License

(Oct. 23, 2020) — “Hello, and glad you could make the premier. You are to be seated in 27-J, so please follow me. Here we are. Careful; don’t spill your drink or popcorn. Enjoy the show.


This Land is Your Land” (4:30) is played as the curtain rises and the house lights dim. The movie starts: you are in a coffee shop, circa middle Americana, 1955. The Ballad of Davy Crockett” (2:31) is played softly on the jukebox. The place is filled with an occasional laugh and the tinkling of flatware. The atmosphere is convivial. The door is burst open by a man in his 40’s wearing clerical garb, accompanied by a flurry of snow.

“Repent, Ye all!”

“Glad you could make it, Father. Welcome to the club, Rev. How’s the weather? We saved a seat for you, over here. We have one, too, that is if you can take us Methodists.”

As the laughter subsides:

“No, I’m a troubled man so I think I’ll sit by myself at the counter; thank you all just the same.”

“What seems to be the trouble? Can we help? I got a snowplow on the front of my pickup.”

“No, no; it’s not that. Coffee and my usual, Alice, thank you. What concerns me is what I read about in a John Birch Society pamphlet. They say we’ll be taken over from within. They say that we won’t be allowed to display our nativity scene at city hall; that we’ll have to have it on church grounds, back on 7th street. Heck, no one will see it and it’s in a quiet neighborhood; people don’t want any extra traffic at night.”

“And you believed it? You’re beginning to sound like a Pentecostalist.”

“They also say that the Teachers’ Union will not teach the inner-city kids to read, for whatever reason.”

“I suppose they say that God will be dead?”

“Make fun of it, go ahead, but I believe it. Look, we just fought a war in Korea and didn’t win it. President Truman was afraid of China, MacArthur wasn’t and I feel that some day we’ll rue the day.”

“You mean like ‘made in Japan’ will change to ‘made in China’?”

“You got it.”

As the laughter subsides someone puts a dime in the record machine. Rock Around the Clock” (2:20)

“Look, and here’s the point: our nation is under attack and we best be paying attention, that’s all.”

“Excuse us if we seem skeptical, Rev. Don’t mean to sound rude, Pastor, but, after all…”

“And another thing…”

“Oh, boy, as if what you already said wasn’t enough.”

Patrice_Audet, Pixabay, License

“It’ll start by kicking the nativity displays out of city hall; then prayers before football games; and then God will be the enemy; Christians and Jews will be attacked by Muslims, right here in our own country, I kid you not.”

“Muslims in our country? Why, they wouldn’t want to be here in the first place; after all, we’re a Christian country. You’re nuts, Pastor.”

“Not if they plan on taking us over, and, besides, I think we’ll be an atheist country someday. And I predict, in the next century, the most dreaded word will be ‘inflation.’ May I have my check, Alice?”

“Forget it; it’s on the house.”

After the reverent lays down some cash for the tip, he walks out the door with a wave to the quiet and pensive customers as the curtain lowers. House lights brighten as Exit Music is played.

Goodbye Baby” (2:05)


Professor Zorkophsky


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