“GIVE US THE TOOLS”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(Oct. 7, 2020) — “USMC hymn” (2:11)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today we’re going to be interviewing two of our best, an Army General and a Private First Class. The General was easy to find since we’re broadcasting from his house via his shortwave set. How do you do, General?”
“I am 4.0, Roving. This immaculate tailor-made uniform has been in all six ZIP Codes of the Pentagon and on every floor of our nation’s capitol, I’m proud to say. By the way, you’re out of uniform and you need a haircut; whitewalls, soldier.”
“Maybe later, General, Sir, but right now could you answer the question of when you know you’ve won a war?”
“When I say so, that’s when. Let me tell you something: Generals know what’s best for everyone. Why, if we had our way, we’d still be in Vietnam body counting. Remember the numbers when we would have TEN TIMES more killed than us?”
“Actually, I do remember, General. Now, if you would, please answer the question: How do you know when a war is over?”
“Are you serious or is this just one of those Sunday morning questions so as not to upset anyone’s brunch?”
“Serious.”
“When no one is firing back, that’s when. And then the General – that would be me – reports that I have won the war and what do you say we have a parade?”
“You know, General, the only celebration, or parade, I ever participated in was Boot Camp Graduation; not quite the same as marching proudly while wearing the uniform in my home town. I missed that, by the way; I feel cheated. I earned my medals, including the Good Conduct and a few Hershey Bars along the way.”
“You were some kind of hero, weren’t you?”
“No, Sir, just doing whatever it took to stay alive. I think medals are given out to make the commanding officers feel good about themselves, if you want the truth.”
“You sound like a Navy Seaman, the lowest of the low, the original ‘Below-Decks Philosopher’ (aka ‘Barrack’s Philosopher’). The priority, Roving, is not to listen to common scuttlebutt but stay tuned to what the Generals say, that’s the number one priority, and not to silly rumors.”
“Got it, General, and with that we’ll take a break and when we come back we’ll be hearing from a PFC.”
“Over There” (2:43)
“We’re back with an Army Private First Class, who served with honor and distinction.”
“Hello, Roving, and I’m so glad to be on your new radio show. I couldn’t help but overhear what the General was saying and he didn’t make a lick of sense, if you ask me.”
“It seems you don’t have a very high opinion of brass.”
“That’s because they have it all backwards; they have it all upside-down. Look, I’ll tell you how it goes down: no matter who says who won a war, it still takes a lowly grunt to stand ground; on Square One; on the ‘X.’ And if this lowly grunt can stand there without getting killed, then he won the war. Here’s the thing: it takes a General to wage a war; it takes a grunt to end it.”
“That makes sense; I mean, I’ve never heard of a General holding ground.”
“Here’s how it works: the grunt has to trust the superiors to give him the best intel available, preferably in real time, besides the most effective firepower to overwhelm the enemy. There’s never ‘too much’; the term ‘measured response’ is someone’s idea of fairness in war. Listen: when we were being shot at from a house, I called in an F-16 to blow it to smithereens: end of story and, for proof, here I am. So the ‘trust’ part is give us the tools and we’ll get the job done.”
“And when is the job done?”
“Unlike in Vietnam, when we ran.”
“And what about Afghanistan?”
“And Iraq and Somalia and a bunch of other hellholes? And we allow them into out country; no wonder we have no regard for the Department of Homeland Security. What a joke but, you know what?”
“No, what?”
“The joke’s on us. We fight them over there and then we welcome them into our country, give them citizenship; medical; money; whatever they want, but we can’t lift a finger to help a homeless Veteran. No wonder why Veterans hate our government – love the country – but hate some of the departments of the government, such as the Department of State and the other obvious enemies, like the Joint Chiefs of Staff for allowing Nidal Hasan into our military, and they haven’t learned a darned thing, have they?”
“No, because all branches of our military have Muslims, don’t they?”
“Yes, which proves that the Joint Chiefs of Staff are as un-American as the Black Lives Matter or ANTIFA goons. So much for the word ‘trust,’ Roving, because it just isn’t there and hasn’t been since WWII, and that’s the truth. Put that in your pipe and smoke it after you ask a Korean Veteran what he thinks about the ceasefire.”
“Will do and thank you for being on the show. I guess it would be safe to say that those moving the pieces across the board are not on the same page as those who are being moved. And that’s it: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“In The Sweet By and By” (1:36)