“CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(Sep. 30, 2020) — “A Short Lullaby” (1:46)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With me today is Hank, who is the man behind the ballots; isn’t that how you wished to be introduced?”
“Yes, Roving, you did a fine job. Hello, people out there in Radio-Land.”
“So you put the names on the ballots in any order you choose, is that correct? So if you put the Dems on the left, they’ll get more votes than if you would have put them on the right, isn’t that correct?”
“Yes, that is quite correct. Here, I have a sample ballot.”
“But I don’t see any listing for ‘Republicans’ or for the ‘Democrats.’ What gives?”
“Nothing ‘gives,’ Roving, I just substituted ‘Ground Beef from the Grocer’ for “Republicans,” that’s all.”
“And ’Eat the Dog’ for the Democrats? Isn’t that a little extreme?”
“Not at all: just look at Venezuela.”
“Well, you got me there. Now you said something about mail-in ballots.”
“We have Absentee Ballots, but we don’t accept any mail-in ballots; never have and never will. And when our polls close, we tally the votes and report to the capitol, usually by eight.”
“No mail-ins?”
“What’s the point? No, we run an honest election in my county. We have only Veterans as our poll-watchers, by the way.”
“Are they armed?”
“Does the sun rise in the east? Are they proud members of the NRA? Do they love our Constitution?”
“Got it.”
“You know, don’t you, that a Veteran who votes for Biden turned his back on his Oath, an oath that has no expiration date?”
“Got it.”
“You mind if I give a little bit of constructive criticism on the Trump-Biden debate?”
“Make it short.”
“Next time put Trump in an isolation booth or, to be fair, put each of them in his own isolation booth.”
“Because of the interruptions?”
“To tell the truth, it was a pathetic display of bad manners on Trump’s part. All he had to do was let Joe lie and he would’ve done just fine. As it was, Trump came across as just plain rude and what made it worse, it was so unnecessary.”
“The interruptions?”
“The interruptions.”
“But Joe also interrupted.”
“But Trump was in the position of strength; he held all the cards but he discarded his overwhelming advantage by interrupting, is what I’m saying.”
“You’re probably right, and with that I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Donna, the Prima Donna” (2:54)