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by OPOVV, ©2020

WikiImages, Pixabay, License

(Sep. 26, 2020) — “Louie Louie” (2:43)

What you are about to read is a true story. Even though the words are accurate, in order to get the full effect of the story there’s a couple of activities that you must perform before reading any further. First of all, how about sitting in a sauna for an hour, and it would be nice if you could attach the sauna to a parachute ride and a roller coaster at the same time. Feeling thirsty? Sorry, not allowed.

Now picture yourself in a cocoon of aluminum that hits hard upon landing and skidding and coming to an abrupt halt. From experience I cinched my seat belt but some of the others didn’t and paid the price in injuries. For some inexplicable reason, the very people who we were delivering the “medical supplies” to shot the pilots as we were landing and, as a consequence, the plane crashed.

And then they started shooting at the plane so we got out faster than any evacuation in the history of plane evacuations. A couple of the “medical supply” boxes broke open upon landing, revealing just what we needed: WWII weapons covered in cosmolineWe used what we were wearing to clean the weapons and started firing back, but the sun was setting fast, as it does in that part of the world, so my first baptism to war was short-lived.

Who knows who we were fighting? All I knew was we were being shot at. They opened up as soon as the plane landed; killed the pilots so now we’re huddled behind some rocks and it’s getting dark and that’s when the bugs started biting. So what do you say you cover yourself with mosquitoes, fleas and no-see-ums with an ant or two and maybe a centipede for an extra?

And now that you are properly hot, sweaty, greasy, bitten and scared, you’re also hungry, but more than ever you’re thirsty, really thirsty.

“You thirsty?”

“I figure if I answer in the affirmative I may regret it so I’ll just say that I haven’t really given it much thought.”

“See that guy over there, the one with his arm in a sling?”


“He’s the officer, a JG, I think. He’s talking about surrendering. He figures they’ll give us water so he wants to surrender.”

“No, not good enough. I say we don’t surrender. I say we take their water or go find our own without getting shot at.”

“You know the radio is out?”

“Figured that.”

“So how would you get their water?”

“Kill them.”

And when they were all killed and we drank their water, I sat back and contemplated my military career, starting with why I joined in the first place. And I thought about the one vote, how important my vote was and I decided that I did the right thing: I killed the enemy so I can vote in the greatest country on the face of the earth.

I didn’t crawl through hell and survive to see my country bad-mouthed and taken over by a bunch of ungrateful spoiled brats who wouldn’t know what it is to put your life on the line.

As a suggestion, don’t be kneeling while my National Anthem (11:38) is being played and don’t even think about burning Old Glory. So if I happen to come across somebody destroying votes, or falsifying votes, or tampering with votes in any way, fair warning.

There: I think I said what I needed to say.


Because” (2:22)




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