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by OPOVV, ©2020

(Jul. 21, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Once again, Professor Zorkophsky hit another one out of the park with his new book, ‘The Post-American Civil War Economic Impact on the Cost of Labor.’ Sounds like another textbook, Professor, and welcome to the show.”

“Thank you, Roving, for such an in-depth and informative introduction and, please, call me ‘Zork’ as long as we’re in my most comfortable office. Yes, textbooks sell because the first editions go to the thousands of libraries around the world, which means that the publisher recoups the cost of the printing and my advancement money; anything else is pure profit. Before we start to hawk my new book, let me show you what I’ve been working on. See this box?”

“Yes, I think you showed it to me a month or so ago.”

“That I did. Well, I’ve made a rather startling advancement; here, let me show you. Mind you, I don’t know how it works – or even why it works —  but if I write something on a piece of paper and place it in the box, close the lid, and then take the paper out, what I wrote will still be on the paper, or, and get this: erased.”

“Erased? How can that be?”

“As I said, I don’t know, but let me show you. Here’s a pen and some paper: write that you’ll win the Lottery tonight and drop it in and close the lid. Go ahead.”

“Okay, now what? I don’t hear anything.”

“As I said, I don’t know how it works. Now open the box and remove the paper.”

“Why, it’s blank. Is that strange or what? What did you do to the box to make it do that?”

“I haven’t a clue. Now, write on the paper that you will not win the Lottery tonight and repeat the process.”

“Okay; in the box, close the box, open the box and there’s the paper with the words that I wrote, ‘I will not win the Lottery tonight.’ Why, that’s amazing.”

“Isn’t it, though? And that gave me the idea for my new book, the one I’m writing now, ‘The Root Cause of American Nihilism* in 2020.’ I would write something, stick it in, and whatever is left has to be the truth. It’s a time machine: it can tell the future. So I wrote a whole book about the history of the USA from the perspective of 2030 and, when I opened the box, the sentences and paragraphs that were blank had to be wrong and everything left has to be the truth, right?”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so. Look here, ‘When Nikki Haley caved* into the ridiculous political pressure to remove the Confederate battle flag from the South Carolina Capitol building, that opened the gates of destruction for the rest of America. Had she stood tall and resolute, none of the subsequent rioting would have happened.’ Now watch: I put this in the box, close it up and then take it out of the box and there it is, just as new.”

“So it all started with her caving-in to, what, stupidity?”

“Remember the old saying, ‘Give an inch and they take a mile?’ That’s it in a nutshell. She should’ve asked the Jews in Israel about the Muslim demands: ‘We just want ten feet, honest,’ when what they really want is all of Israel so they can make it into a garbage dump ASAP, after they exterminate every living thing in the whole country.”

“Okay, what do you say you summarize your new book after we take a break?”

Right Down the Line***” (4:31)

“We’re back; go ahead.”

“Okay. First off I explain the facts of life; I mean, that every group of people has been the slaves of someone else at sometime, and you can take that to the bank. Go back a hundred years or even a hundred thousand, and it’s the same old story. Secondly, I explain that there is no American living today who is a slave owner; therefore there are no slaves. Now, look, I want to show you something.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to write, ‘Blacks are entitled,’ and then on the next line I’ll write, ‘The American Indian is entitled,’ and put the paper in the box, close the top and what do you think we’ll get?”

“I think the first line will be blank and the next one will be intact.”

“Let’s see if you’re right. And you are!”

“So what does it mean?”

“It means that the American Indian is more deserving than any other minority, to start, yet they are not toppling statues or gone whacko about the names of sport teams. The American Indians do not riot and murder policemen; the American Indians do not topple statues.”

“So, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that the BLM is nothing but an excuse to destroy the USA and trash our Constitution. I know you’re short on time, but it’s no coincidence that the BLM is getting support from the Muslim community and China.”

“Getting back to your book.”

“All right: fact is that slavery, as an economic institution, was costing more than it was worth; in other words, the cost of owning a slave was more than the profit derived, like working for nothing. Slavery was on its way out, back in 1861, the year Fort Sumter was attacked. Slavery was an institution whose time had gone by the wayside; everyone knew this, from the plantation owner to the sharecropper. It has been argued that slavery would have been done and over with by 1865 anyway, the year the war ended. The war was fought over States’ Rights; why, even the most die-hard Southerner knew that slavery was passé, for God’s sake.”

“Would you say that the gullible people of today are that way because of our failed public education indoctrination centers, otherwise known as public schools?”

“For sure. Next time you’re on your corner, why don’t you quiz people on who is on Mt. Rushmore and name a border state to see how utterly stupid a lot of our neighbors are?”

“Great idea, Zork, I’ll do that. And so, it’s that time when I wish you all, on behalf of the crew, a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Nihilism: the tearing down of existing order; destruction of laws and courts; creating a vacuum, which is replaced immediately with Despotism and Totalitarianism.]

[**Nikki Haley caved: the only change is that people have become dumber, and the more history, either “good” or “bad,” that is erased, the weaker our nation becomes, until the only history we have is what’s on television tonight.]

[***“Right Down the Line”: I always thought of this song as the wife standing by her shell-shocked (PTSD) husband.]

[Shout-out to those attending the Hopping Mad political rally: heard you had a great time; sorry I couldn’t make it.]

Wild Horses” (5:44)


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