“A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(May 31, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. As you can see, we’re back on our corner, across the street form the railroad station, standing under the awning waiting to waylay somebody, anybody, who happens to walk by. Excuse me while I look at this note that our producer just handed me; tell you what, I’ll just read it: ‘Please answer some of the many letters from your viewers.’ Okay, will do; hand me one, please.
Dear Roving:
Are those Little People who live in the Adirondacks for real or are you just making it all up?
Miss Pullman’s 7th Grade Homeroom class
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Dear Class:
Let me just say that maybe they are not quite as small as reported. Thank you for your interest and for watching ‘Pulse’ or, if you don’t get us on TV, read the transcript of the show in The P&E.
Sincerely,
Roving
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Okay, what do you say we waylay this young lady? Excuse me, Miss, Roving for ‘Pulse,’ the place to hear it here first.”
“Yes, I know who you are. I don’t get you on TV but I read the transcript of the show. And I’m not as young as you think; thanks to early retirement from the rat race I spend all my time staying in shape.”
“What do you do to stay in shape?”
Commercial: “Happy Together” (2:57)
“Tennis every day and when it rains I have a treadmill.”
“So you’re retired; may I ask what you used to do?”
“I was a headhunter, and a darn good one, I might add. I’m tempted to jump back in because, I tell you, I see some out there who really need to abandon ship and go with the trend, and they better do it soon or else all the slots will have been taken.”
“Could you be a little more specific, or would that let the cat out of the bag?”
“No, I’ll spill the beans; I mean, I really am retired, for real. But if I were to jump back in the fray, I would tell a few folks at FOX NEWS to hook up with Newsmax.”
“Oh, really? Isn’t that interesting? Why, just the other day someone was saying that FOX isn’t what it used to be; I mean, they hired Donna Brazile and a few other gems.”
“That’s right. Anyway, as I was saying, I would write a letter to Dan Bongino advising him to contact Newsmax as of yesterday. I mean, if the shoe fits, that would be a match made in heaven.”
“Did anything out of the ordinary bring you to that conclusion?”
“Well, yes, come to think of it there was. It was on a Saturday morning, the 30th, and I was watching TV, channel surfing, and there was Dan, on FOX, and he was saying, in no uncertain terms, what he thought of the looters trying to storm the White House: he said it was a very bad idea.”
“It’s starting to rain; thanks for talking with us. And that’ll do it and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show and let’s get out of here before we get zapped by lightening. Burger time: my treat.”
“Just Like Me” (2:24)